People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Sample Response
It’s true to say that people gain admission to colleges and universitiestake admission in college and universities for higher education with different intentions. Overall, it depends on the economic and social status of countries. From my point of viewAccording to my point of view, in today’s world, most peoplemost of the people get higher education to earn money, especially the residents of underdeveloped or third world countries like Pakistan. In this essay, I will elaborate on my viewelaborate my view with reasons and examples.
First, if we consider low-income countriesif we see in low-income countries like Pakistan, where people struggle to meet basic needswhere life is striving for the basic needs like food and shelterfoods and shelters, many young Pakistanismost of the youths of Pakistan enrol in programmestake admission in subjects like M.B.A, Information Technology and other science subjects to improve their career prospectsfor a better scope of having better careers and earning good money. Their basic needs for survival outweigh other intrinsicethnic values of education. Very few students take an interest in the artstake interest in arts and other non-technical education.
While somehow in the west or developed countries where government ensures basic needs of the people, have a different reason for people to attend colleges and universities. Most of the students in the west still follow the true meaning and purpose of educationtrue meanings and reason of education. They take admission in universities to increase their skills, knowledge and charactercharacters. That is the reason for progress in research and development. On the balance, I must say that people around the worldhumans of all over the globe have lost the true meanings of education except in very few countriesexcept in very countries in the west. The man has increased the needs and demands for more comfort or for other reasons, but, it is the economiceconomical situation of nations which determines whether education movesdefines the trend of education move towards money or moreover towards aesthetics.
On the balance, I must say that people of all over the globe attend the schools and universities to increase their scope to earn the better income. We have lost the true meanings of education. Lust for money has taken over the thrust and great values of knowledge. It is one of the proofs that now the world rarely produces the great characters like Rumi and Newton.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a sustained explanation of how economic conditions influence university attendance and supports it with a clear comparison between lower-income and developed countries. Its main limitation is that broad moral claims and an income-focused conclusion weaken the nuance of the earlier discussion, while recurring language errors reduce precision. Prioritise directly explaining distinct motivations with measured evidence and editing awkward grammar and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay answers the question with relevant reasons and some development, but overgeneralisation and a narrowed conclusion limit the response.
Develop two or three distinct reasons for attending university and support each without making sweeping claims about whole countries.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through a clear country-based comparison, though repetition and a few poorly formed transitions weaken cohesion.
Give each paragraph one distinct purpose and remove repeated evaluative statements such as the two uses of On the balance.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to discuss education and economics, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms make expression uneven.
Use natural academic phrases such as enrol at university, improve career prospects, basic necessities, and economic circumstances.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts complex sentences, but recurring errors with articles, plurals, agreement, and clause structure reduce control.
Revise long sentences into complete clauses and systematically check articles, countable nouns, and subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge etc.). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.