We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Sample Response
Computers are tools made by humanshuman to make things easier and to improve our livesmake our lives advanced. Computers have becomeThe computers have become an essential toolproduct in every homehouse, every office and even in the everyday life of people. Psychology, sociology, mathematics, biology, environmental science, crime investigations, constructions & engineering sector, technology related fields, vocational training etc. are the fields where computer have printed it’s footpath to proof of its importance. Computer programsProgrammes in a computer are used to complete tasks in a robot as welltasks in a robot also. Such computers are essential in our lives.
The software of computers could use for many purposes such as learning through computers, accounting in computers, drawing, storage of information, sending information from one person to another etc. Over timeWith the time, demand for computers is also increasing. For exampleAn example can be, in every interview for the government, private or None Government jobs, they prefer to check candidates' ability to use computersthe knowledge in usage the of computers that is to obtain maximum output from employees within a short timewithin a small time duration.
Since a computer needs much less space thancomputer needs only small space than cupboards of files, it is very easy to store the documents in the computer in soft version, and can be reused at any timecould re-use at any time without physical damage or losswithout physical damages or losses. The same file could be storedfile could store in different locations in a safe manner. There are more advantages of computers than of its disadvantages. This is the era of technologicaltechnology evolution. In the future, computer models and versionsIn future models and versions of the computers will be more user-friendly even for an uneducated person. This will definitely lead to increased use of computerslead to increase the usage of the computers.
Sometimes, we should be suspicious of its benefits. For example, a talented person’s real talent may be disclosed by a person who does the works in a computer. The writing skills of the children decrease due to the usage of computers. Also, they get more eye problems, get addicted to computer based games, and ergonomic problems for employees who spend much time in computers. But these are due to malpractices of human and not by computers. If we use the computers only for proper practices, then we can realise the invention of the computer is only for the benefits.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response shows awareness of both the benefits and risks of computer dependence and gives several relevant examples of present-day use. Its main limitation is that it barely answers what computers will be used for in the future, while frequent language errors sometimes blur otherwise sensible points. The highest-priority improvement is to develop two or three specific future applications and evaluate their benefits and risks directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response considers advantages and risks and expresses an overall positive view, but it concentrates on current uses and gives almost no specific future applications.
Develop several plausible future uses, such as autonomous healthcare or transport, and relate each one directly to the question of dependence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four paragraphs provide a basic progression from uses and benefits to drawbacks, but ideas within them are repetitive and sometimes weakly connected.
Give each paragraph one clear purpose and use a topic sentence followed by one developed example rather than a list of loosely related points.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss technology, storage, employment, and health, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms restrict precision.
Replace strained expressions such as 'printed its footpath' and 'soft version' with standard terms such as 'established its importance' and 'digital format'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, comparison, passive structures, and possessives sometimes make sentences difficult to follow.
Prioritise complete subject-verb structures and accurate passive forms, for example 'software can be used' and 'files can be stored'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.