When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Employee hiring and retention are two utmost important tasks of Human Resource department of modern enterprises. Organisations spend a great deal of money studying the reasons forof attrition. Many of them concludeAnd many of them conclude that compensation is the main reasonthe biggest reason why an employee accepts a job offer. I also believeI too think that salary is the most important factor motivating someone to acceptmotivating factor for one to accept an offer. Firstly, one needs to understand why people seek employmentthe motive why anyone looks for employment. It is obvious that one does a job to earn money, to support his family and so that he can lead a good life. With time, everyone's needs changeeveryone's need changes and onone top of this, inflation makes things increasingly unaffordable. An employee starts looking elsewhereoutside when he finds himself struggling to meet their family's needsstretching to meet his family need. Second reason is that when an employee feels they are not paid enough, they mayhe is not paid enough he would start finding a new job. Infosys Technology's HR department's exit interview, when they try to find the reasons why an employee has left the job, data reveals that 80% of people leaving job has the salary as the first reason. This shows that compensation plays the biggest role in an employee's decisionemployee's decision of changing jobs or accepting a new offerswitching job or taking new offer. However, there are many other important reasons why one selects a job such as work-life balance, the opportunity to rise in the organisation's hierarchy, work culture etc. A study by a Bangalore human resources organisationStudy by Bangalore human resource organisation revealed that 50% of employees50% employees provide non-salary as one of the reasons for taking a new offer. From my personal experience, I have seen many of my colleagues taking a new offer in search of other better opportunity or to switch career. Therefore, we can safely conclude that salary is not the only consideration while choosing new job but it is the topmost reason why one takes a new job offer.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a consistent qualified agreement and supports it with relevant points about family needs, inflation, staff turnover, and non-salary considerations. Its main limitation is organisation and sentence control: the entire response forms one block, and recurring agreement, article, and clause errors make the evidence harder to process. Prioritise separating the position, salary reasons, counterpoint, and conclusion into paragraphs, then proofread the statistical examples sentence by sentence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly agrees that salary is the leading consideration while acknowledging other factors, and it supports this qualified view with several relevant reasons and examples.
Evaluate the non-salary factors more directly against pay to show why salary remains more important rather than merely listing alternatives.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning progresses logically from financial needs to retention and counterarguments, but the complete absence of paragraphing makes the 305-word argument difficult to navigate.
Create separate paragraphs for the thesis, salary-based reasons, non-salary counterpoint, and conclusion, each with one central purpose.
Lexical Resource
A good range of employment vocabulary includes 'retention', 'attrition', 'compensation', and 'work-life balance', though several collocations are awkward.
Prefer natural phrases such as 'reasons for attrition', 'look for another job', and 'accept a new offer'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses both simple and complex forms, but recurring article, agreement, possession, and clause-construction errors limit accuracy.
Rewrite the statistical examples as short complete sentences and check forms such as '80% of employees cite salary' and 'family needs'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.