There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Sample Response
Kinds of music people listen nowadays are of different tastes and types. For instance, modern international pop and rap music, as well as classical traditional country songs,country songs all, differvary from each other and people listen to them with great interests. This is because music has been part of our daily lives since ancient timeseven in the ancient times. In this essay, reasons whyreasons on why music is necessary for Filipino peopleevery Filipino people and the importance of traditional Philippine folk musicthe Philippine traditional folk music over foreign songs that young Filipinos regularly hearyoung Filipinos and Filipinas always hear will be discussed. Music is a vital part of every Filipino's lifeevery Filipinos' lives. Firstly, Filipinos considerPhilippine folks considered it to be one of the oldest and most widespread formsone of the most popular and ancient modes of human expressionexpressions. It features prominentlylargely in all histories and all cultures and indeed has been one of the main ways of passing on cultural traditions to new generations inof the country. Moreover,Secondly, because of this, many people view music as a positive influence on societyinfluence for the societies. This influence on individuals is wholly beneficial as it is a long-established way of communicating and helping us understand the whole range of human emotion and experience in a more spiritual language than words can represent. However, the classical music traditions of the Philippines are not necessarily part of the music many Filipinos and Filipinas experience today. In the modern world today, most of the country's young people are constantly exposed toconstantly exposed themselves to loud modern foreign songs as a result of globalisation via the Internet. But I think that it is more important for young people inof the country to learn traditional music so that they can learn aboutto enable them to know the origins of our Philippine ancestors. In conclusion, I think that we need traditional music because it is an integral part of the human expression that we cannot really separate from our lives even if there are the various evolution of modern music we tend to listen every day through the web nowadays such as American rap songs and Korean pop music.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear preference for traditional music and offers relevant reasons for music’s cultural and emotional value. Its main weakness is uneven development: the comparison with international music is brief, while repetitive phrasing and frequent grammatical inaccuracies reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the two questions into distinct paragraphs and develop the comparison with a fuller explanation of why traditional music should take priority.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed and the preference for traditional music is clear, but the comparative argument is only briefly developed.
Explain in greater depth why preserving traditional music outweighs the appeal or benefits of international music.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning follows a broadly understandable sequence, but the absence of paragraphing and some repetitive transitions weaken organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the need for music and the comparison of traditional and international music.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range for cultural and emotional ideas, although awkward collocations and word-form choices recur.
Replace unnatural combinations and unnecessary plurals with conventional expressions, especially when discussing people, society, and human expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of sentence forms communicates the main ideas, but agreement, possessive, article, and clause-structure errors occur repeatedly.
Check subject-verb agreement and noun forms systematically, then simplify any complex sentence whose structure becomes unstable.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.