The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the leisure hours enjoyed by males and femalesmale and female across employment statusesbased on the employment status in 1998–99during the year 1998 to 1999.
Overall, the bar chart shows the number of leisure hours spent during retirement and unemployment is high when compared to employment period. In addition, males enjoy more leisure hours per week than femaleswhen compared to females.
It is clearly evident from the graph that female in all respective of employment status enjoys time killing when compared to male. Men and women whoMen and women, who are unemployed and retired spentretired, spent more leisure hours than employed peoplewhen compared to employed people. Unemployed males (85 hours per week) and females (78 hours per week) show only a slight differenceonly show a slight difference in leisure hourshours spent for leisure time. Similarly, retired peopleemployees (about 83 hours per week for men and 78 for women)(male75 hours per week, female 82 hours per week) spent almost the same amount of leisure timespent almost same leisure hour irrespective of gender.
In contrast, the number of leisure hourshour spent by employed males is about 45 hours per week42 hour weekly and for full-time female employees was about 38 hours per weekby female employees, this was around 40 hours per week. Housewives spent about 10 hours more than part-time employed womenspent almost 10 hours more than employed females (50 hours per week).
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response has a clear structure and identifies the broad contrast between non-working and employed groups. Its main weakness is inaccurate reporting: the retirement figures are reversed, one statement contradicts the chart’s gender pattern, and the part-time category is largely omitted. Prioritise checking every comparison against the visual and presenting the missing categories accurately before refining grammar and word choice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A relevant overview and several key figures are given, but the retirement values are reversed, a gender comparison is contradictory, and part-time employment is omitted.
Verify each value and comparison against the chart, including the categories shown for only one gender.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response uses a clear introduction, overview, and detail paragraphs, although contradictory statements weaken progression within the main comparison.
Organise details consistently by employment group and ensure each sentence supports rather than reverses the overview.
Lexical Resource
There is some appropriate chart vocabulary, but awkward or inaccurate phrases such as 'time killing' and 'in all respective' reduce precision.
Use conventional comparative language and accurate collocations for leisure time, employment status, and weekly figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the main ideas, but agreement, article, plural, and tense errors recur throughout.
Check subject-verb agreement and plural count nouns systematically, especially in sentences comparing men and women.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.