Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Sample Response
Some schoolsschool of thought believe that wealthy nationsstrong economies should aid poorer countriesaid the poor countries by meeting their basic needsin terms of supporting them in their primary needs, while others thinkwhile some others think local governments are responsible for dealingit is due to the local governments to deal with such internal problems. Although both partiesboth the parties have some strong justifications to support their ideas, I personally agree more with the first groupagree with the first group more because of several key factors including the lack of resources in poorer economies and the factincluding lack of resources in such poor economies, the fact that we are living in a global society. The first important point I would like to mention is the fact that most of the poor economies are suffering from a lack of facilitiessuffering from lack of having enough facilities and resources in areas such as education and food provisionin the fields such as education and food. As the first may lead to making them even poorer and also increases the number of criminal actions and even worse in some cases potentially making some people joining terroristic groups. While the latter causes several unpleasant results such as children disability and death. Another important point is that we should not forgetAnother important thing is we should not forget all the people in the world are part of one human communityone community, the human being. Regardless of all the things that make us differentRegardless of all the things makes us different, we all share the same biology. Therefore, as human beings, everyoneas a human everybody should try their best to do what they canhis/her best to do what he can to make the world a pleasant place for othersfor the others. Moreover, as mentioned aboveas it mentioned above, some of the negative results such as terrorism may directly affect the other nations including first world countries. To put everything in a nutshell, supporting the poor countries to make a better life for their people will cause several pleasant results not only domestically but in some cases internationally and more importantly, it all is justified by humanity.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay gives a clear and consistent case for wealthy nations supporting poorer ones, developing resource shortages, shared humanity, and international consequences as relevant reasons. Its strongest feature is the movement from domestic need to global interest, while frequent grammatical errors and some exaggerated causal claims reduce precision. Prioritise concrete examples of effective food or education aid and clearer explanation of how assistance complements local government responsibility.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The preference for international assistance is clear and supported by several relevant reasons, though the alternative responsibility of poorer governments and some causal claims receive limited analysis.
Explain how external aid and accountable local government can work together, using a specific food or education programme as evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses from resource shortages to shared humanity and cross-border effects, but single-paragraph presentation and fragmented first-and-latter references weaken cohesion.
Use separate paragraphs for material need and global responsibility, and replace vague references with explicit nouns such as education and food insecurity.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for poverty, resources, and international responsibility, but recurring inaccurate collocations and word forms limit precision.
Use phrases such as 'wealthy countries,' 'meet basic needs,' 'local governments are responsible for,' and 'international consequences.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex ideas are attempted and generally understandable, though sentence fragments, agreement, articles, verb patterns, and relative clauses contain frequent errors.
Turn fragments beginning with 'As' and 'While' into complete sentences and check agreement in every main clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.