Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It has always been the case that in certain ways our lives are intertwined with the lives of others. However, in the modern era, some people believe that dependency between people has increased, whereas others believe that people have become more independentgrown to be more independent.
One reason that people think we are more dependent on each other is because of our reliance on others to provide a positive image of ourselves. People are bombarded these days with pictures of beautiful models and people who seem to have perfect lives. Many people therefore feel the need to go on social media, such as Facebook and Instagram, in order to post pictures and they need others to get as many ‘likes’ as possible. In addition to this, because of the hectichectic and busy lives some families lead, it is argued that they are dependentit is argued they are dependent on others to support them, with grandparents, for example, helpingsuch as with grandparents helping to take care of their grandchildren because the parents don't have time.
Overall,However, despite this, overall I believe that people are generally more independent. This can be seen in the way that so many people live away from their families and lead their own lives. For example, families used to live near each othernearby to each other, but nowadays people often reside in cities different from those of their parents and siblingsdifferent cities to their parents and siblings or in other countries, seeing each other only rarely in some cases. FurthermoreNot only this, people prefer more privacy than in the past and do not require help from others, as shown by the fact that neighboursseen in the way that neighbours these days often do not know each other or interact at all.
In conclusion, although in certain ways people are more dependent, it is generally the case that people now live more independent lives. Only over time will it be become clear whetherrevealed as to whether this is a positive or negative development for society.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response addresses both views directly, states a clear preference, and develops each side through relevant contemporary examples in a fluent, well-controlled structure. Its main limitation is that a few supporting claims, particularly the link between social-media approval and interpersonal dependence, could be analysed more precisely. The highest-priority improvement is to make that causal reasoning more explicit while preserving the essay’s concise progression and strong language control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed, the writer’s opinion is clear, and the main ideas are relevant and well supported.
Explain more precisely how seeking approval through social media demonstrates dependence on other people rather than merely frequent platform use.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically, with effective paragraphing and cohesive links that make the contrast between the two views easy to follow.
Strengthen the transition between examples within the first body paragraph so their shared relevance to dependence is even clearer.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural overall, with flexible language for social relationships and modern lifestyles.
Refine occasional awkward combinations such as descriptions of where relatives live to achieve consistently idiomatic phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor lapses that do not impede meaning.
Polish the few compressed constructions by making their grammatical relationships fully explicit while retaining the present variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.