Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Sample Response
Today’s world is divided into industrialised countries and poor nations, where the main difference between them is the amount of money that they spend on healthcarespend in the healthcare system, commerce and infrastructureinfrastructures. Most of those developing nations are living belowunder the poverty line, and in my opinion, wealthy nations have the ability and the responsibility to help them. Rich countries are more capable of helping those less fortunate countries than their own governments for many reasonsbecause of many reasons. Firstly, most poor nations are burdened by debtburied into debts as a result of their unbalanced financesfinance and inexperienced or corruptcorrupted administrations. This is reflectedThis reflected in a weak and failed healthcare and education systemssystem and a weak international trade policy. This vicious cycle will continue unless rich countries take responsibility for helpingtake the responsibility of helping those nations and minimising the huge worldwide economic difference. For example, the World Bank can cancelnullify their debts or rich nations can help them with some projects to help to pay for these debts. Secondly, many of those countries are living in subhuman conditions because of extreme poverty and epidemic diseases such as AIDS and cholera and they either do not have the knowledge or sufficient medical resourcesthe sufficient medical resources to improve this situation. However, developed countries can donate free drugs, and send doctors and nurses to treat and educate the infected populationinfected population so as to prevent these diseases from spreading. FurthermoreOn the other hand, many people from poor countries immigrate to rich countries to work or study. This resultsresult in many consequences: the first consequence is that they help to improve the economy of developed countries. For example in countries like the UK or FRANCE, there are lots of immigrantsemigrants who prove themselves by their knowledge and hard workworking. Then it seems to be sensible that these wealthy nations should, in turn, help their home countries. In addition, the economy of poor countries gets worse because they have lost their most skilful and educated people while they need them to work and lead these nationsnation to a better future. Finally, it would be difficult for poor nations to help themselves and grow without basic needs such as food, shelter, treatment and education. In conclusion, I believe that it would be less likely to see any improvement in developing nations' economies and circumstancesdeveloping nation economy and status without the cooperation of wealthy countries.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, sustained position and supports it with several relevant lines of reasoning about debt, health crises, migration, and basic needs. Its main limitation is that frequent awkward word choices and grammatical slips reduce precision, while the absence of visible paragraphing weakens the otherwise logical progression. Prioritise accurate sentence construction and collocation, then organise each major reason into a distinct paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with several relevant, generally developed reasons and examples.
Develop the comparison with poorer governments more explicitly so the chosen responsibility is evaluated from both sides.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through distinct reasons, but the single-block presentation and some mechanical linking weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into clear paragraphs with more natural transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad topic vocabulary, though inaccurate collocations and word forms occur regularly.
Replace awkward combinations such as references to debt, finance, and populations with precise, conventional academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates meaning clearly despite recurring agreement, article, tense, and plural errors.
Proofread each sentence for subject-verb agreement and noun-number consistency before refining more complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.