Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Sample Response
The world economy today is a complex juxtaposition of wealthier nations on the one hand and poorer nations on the otheron one hand and not so wealthy on the other. The developed Westernwestern countries seem to be living in a futuristic era while the rest of the world is caught in outdatedmedieval mindsets and technologies. This enormous gap cannot be bridged without co-operation from both sides of the divide. This essay outlines two opposing perspectivestwo perspectives from diametrically opposite angles. Wealthy economies must understand that in today's heavily interconnected world, theyworld; they cannot prosper in isolationin an isolated manner. An Ebola outbreak in Liberia, for example, is as great a threatas much of a threat to the people in Europe or America, thanks to modern day travelling, as it is to the rest of the worldto rest of the world. And so it becomes an obligation on richer countries to provide the affected areas not only short-term aid like health expertise but also to help with better food and education in order for those countries to handle and control future outbreaks. As the above example showsSo as seen from above example, rich nations ought to help others byin providing better access to food, education, healthcare and other essentialshealthcare etc. NeverthelessOn the contrary, though, the countries receiving such aidon receiving the end of such an aid should strive to become increasingly self-reliantindependent by the day. For instance, it is not possible to feed 1.3 billion people solely on foreign aid. The Indian government has to develop policiescome out with policies to promote innovation in agriculture to become self-sufficientso as to be able to be self-sufficient eventually. So as seen from the above, developing nations have an equal obligation to try toand stand on their own feet. To summarise, it is impossible to close that gigantic valley between the rich and poor countries without mutual effort from both the parties. It is hoped that we forget those artificial international borders and tackle this problem as a humanity to create an egalitarian world where no child is starved and no student is deprived of education.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, nuanced position that both wealthy and poorer nations have obligations, and each side is supported with a relevant, extended example. Its main limitation is that the entire argument appears as one continuous paragraph, which weakens the visibility of its otherwise logical structure; the highest priority is to separate the introduction, contrasting arguments, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs while refining a few awkward expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses both alternatives, maintains a clear position of shared responsibility, and develops each side with relevant examples.
Make the comparison even more precise by explaining the practical limits of each party's responsibility rather than relying on broad moral claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through the two perspectives, but the absence of visible paragraph breaks substantially weakens the organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each side of the argument, and the conclusion, with transitions that show how the positions relate.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise vocabulary conveys complex ideas effectively, although several collocations and expressions are awkward.
Replace unnatural phrases such as becoming independent 'by the day' with more idiomatic and exact wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with good overall control, while occasional article and punctuation errors do not impede meaning.
Improve accuracy with articles and clause punctuation, especially around examples and sentence-opening linkers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.