Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Sample Response
Development of any territory is influenced by the availability of basic amenities. The scarcity of facilities such as food and education obstructsobstruct the growth of a country. Some people believe that affluent nations should be accountable for making these things accessible for poorerfortuneless countries. However, I tend to believe that these services should be provided by their own governmentsits own ruling party.
To begin with, the government should meet the needsfulfil the necessities of the people who gave it powerbecause of whom they got the power. For instance, most countries use a voting system to select a governmentthe voting system for selecting government and, hence, meeting people's needssatisfying people becomes a major duty of the party in power. If the party fails to support itstheir residents with facilities like food and education, it may result in its defeat in the next electiontheir failure in next election. Thus, it is obvious that the government is responsiblelegal entity is chargeable for taking care of its citizenstheir natives.
In addition to this, native people pay various types of taxes to the government. A good illustration for this is the certifications which are held at the university level and its fees always include some amount of tax. If, after paying an education taxpaying education tax, the government fails to provide better schools and universitiesa better level of schools and universities, residents may prefer to give a chanceprefer giving chance to some other political party in the next electionin next elections. Therefore, the chances of losing power will increasechances of losing control over individuals will be increased and hence it becomes inevitable for government to fulfil its dutiesrefute their duties.
For these reasonsFor above, it can be concluded that in order to maintain its position, the government of needy nations should be focused on meetingconcerned towards satisfying the needs of its citizens. If an elected governmentelected command succeeds in this, they may be able to attract people from other nations towards their country which may help boost the economyboost economy of the country. As a consequence, developing nation will be turned into developed one in near future.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and organises two relevant reasons around government accountability and taxation, with meaning remaining generally easy to follow. Its main limitation is that the reasoning is repetitive and sometimes questionable or imprecise, while the alternative role of wealthy nations receives almost no analysis. The highest priority is to develop fewer, stronger arguments that directly compare the two responsibilities and support them with credible examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported by relevant reasons, but development is repetitive and the wealthy-nation alternative is barely evaluated.
Directly compare why domestic responsibility should outweigh international assistance, using one credible and fully explained example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and logical sequencing are clear, although progression relies on formulaic links and repeated election-related reasoning.
Give each body paragraph a distinct argumentative purpose and use referencing rather than repeated connective phrases to show relationships.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for the topic, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations such as "fortuneless countries" and "refute their duties" reduce precision.
Prioritise natural policy-related collocations, such as "disadvantaged countries," "provide public services," and "fulfil their duties."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument, despite recurring errors in articles, agreement, pronoun reference, and noun phrases.
Proofread each sentence for articles and agreement, especially when shifting between "government," "party," "country," and their pronouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizen themselves?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.