The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
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Sample Response
The flowchartfollowchart illustrates how one type of desert,known as a rain-shadow desertarain shadow desert isif formed.
Overall,it is clear that the process consists of several main steps,which beginsbeginning with winds approachingaprroaching the coast and ending with dry wind reaching inland areas. It involves both climate and environmental processes.
Initially,the moist winds from the sea approach the coastcost and then winds are pushed upwards by mountains. Following this stage, the moist air rises and cools onwith the windward side,which causes clouds to formcloude form. Subsequently, rain begins to fallthe rainy clouds begin to fall on this side,and much more moisture is released from the air.
After crossing the mountainmoutain,dry air continues over mountain alongalomg the leeward side, with the falling of air, it becomes driermore dry. Finally ,the dry winds reach inland areas, where there is very little rainfallwhere very little rainfall. As a result, the rain-shadow desert can span thousands of kilometres inlandthe winds from sea cross thousands of kilometres to the inland,which causescaues the formation of a rain-shadow desertrain-shadow.
Why this response received Band 5.5
文章完整地描述了雨影沙漠形成的全部关键步骤,结构框架清晰且包含有效的总结段落。主要局限在于拼写错误频繁以及多处语法结构不完整或出错(如从句谓语缺失、表达不规范)。首要改进方向是加强基础词汇拼写检查并规范复合句的动词形式与句子结构。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务完成度
文章涵盖了流程图中的所有七个主要阶段,并给出了清晰的总体概述。
可以进一步深化对“迎风坡”和“背风坡”降水差异的对比说明,使过程逻辑更显自然。
连贯与衔接
文章采用了合理的逻辑顺序和连接词,整体段落推进清晰易懂。
注意标点符号后的空格规范,并适当替换部分机械使用的连接词以提升衔接自然度。
词汇资源
能够使用与地理现象相关的基础词汇,但拼写和打字错误较为频繁。
需重点纠正如 followchart、cost、cloude、moutain 等拼写错误,提高词汇拼写的准确性。
语法多样性与准确性
使用了多种句式结构,但存在较多语法错误(如动词形式误用、定语从句和状语从句结构不完整)。
练习非谓语动词与从句谓语的正确搭配,例如将 which beginning 改为 which begins,并补充 where 从句中的谓语动词。