The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Sample Response
The provided diagramThis diagram explains how a rain-shadow desert, which is one type of desert, is formedhow the rain-shadow desert which is one type of desert is formed. Overall, Deleteit is obvious that there are seven stages in the formation of rain-shadow deserts, beginning with the sea and ending further inlandending with the inland, and the main influence comes from the mountain, whichfrom the mountain which results in dry winds. At the first stage in the formation of rain-shadow desertsrain deserts, sea winds approach the coastapproach coast after which the winds are pushed upwardswinds pushed upwards because of the barrier formed by mountainsbecause of significant effects of mountains. Then, with the moist air rising and cooling, clouds formit becomes clouds form before raining on the windward side of the mountainat windward side of mountains. As a result, very little water is left in the air. After the rain fallsAfter rain falling, the remaining air becomes drythe rain becomes dry and continues over the mountain from the windward to the leeward sidecontinues over mountain from windward to leeward side and this process spans thousands of kilometres. Finally, the dry air reaches inland areas leading to conditions that remain drylead to where keep dry over a long periodin the long time. Thus, the rain-shadow deserts are formed.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response successfully covers all main stages of the process and provides a clear overview of the geographical transformation. However, frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing sometimes obscure the description of atmospheric events. Focus on improving sentence structure and passive voice accuracy to describe scientific processes more clearly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All seven numbered stages of the rain-shadow desert formation are covered along with an effective overview.
Ensure accuracy when describing process details so that concepts, such as air losing moisture rather than rain turning dry, are stated correctly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical, step-by-step sequence that reflects the order shown in the visual diagram.
Use a wider variety of sequential transition signals beyond basic markers like 'at the first stage' and 'finally'.
Lexical Resource
Key terminology from the diagram is incorporated, though vocabulary relies heavily on words given in the prompt.
Practice using varied collocations and precise verbs to describe weather and physical processes naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammatical inaccuracies, such as missing auxiliary verbs and ungrammatical clause combinations, impede the smooth flow of the text.
Review passive voice structures and relative clauses to construct complex sentences accurately.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.