The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

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This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?

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Sample Response

1

Thehe diagram illustrates how a rain-shadow desert is created.

2

Overall, the process consists of seven main stages, beginning when winds approachwinds arrive at the coast and finishing with the formation of the desert inland. The whole sequence happens over thousands of kilometres, from the sea to the land behind the mountainsbehind mountains.

3

In the first phase on the windward side of the mountains, winds blow from the sea towardswinds come towards the coast and are then pushed up the mountain slope. As the moist air rises, it cools down. This cooling causes clouds to form, leading to rain thatand after that, rain falls on this side of the mountains.

4

Following this, the dry air descends over the mountain onto the leeward sidemoves across the mountain to the leeward side. The dry winds then travel further and reach inland regions. With no moisture left in the air, a rain-shadow desert is produced in these regionsin these inland areas.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response presents a clear and accurate description of the process, featuring a well-structured overview and logical sequencing across stages. The main limitation is that the text is slightly under the recommended minimum length, leaving key descriptions somewhat brief. Expanding slightly on descriptive details or comparative features of the windward and leeward sides will help secure higher task achievement.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

6.0
Scoring rule

All seven key stages of the process are accurately identified and outlined with a clear overview.

Next step

Elaborate slightly more on each stage to ensure the response fully meets the expected word count and provides richer detail.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

Information is organized logically into distinct paragraphs with smooth transitions between sequential steps.

Next step

Maintain this logical flow while integrating slightly more varied transitional expressions to link stages.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is accurate and effective, successfully using key terms from the diagram such as windward side and leeward side.

Next step

Incorporate a wider range of academic synonyms for movement and weather processes to demonstrate broader vocabulary control.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

Sentences demonstrate good grammatical control and complex structure with very few noticeable errors.

Next step

Proofread carefully before finalizing to eliminate minor typographical slips in opening capitalization.