The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Sample Response
This diagram explains how a rain-shadow desert, which is one type of desert, is formed.how the rain-shadow desert which is one type of desert is formed. Overall, it is obvious that there are seven stages in the formation of rain-shadow deserts, beginning with the sea and ending with inland areasthe inland, and the main influence comes from the mountain which results in dry winds. In the initial stageAt the first stage in the formation of rain-shadow deserts, sea winds approach the coastapproach coast after which the winds are pushedthe wind is pushed upwards due to the presence of mountainsbecause of significant effects of mountains. Then, with the moist air rising and cooling, it condenses to form cloudsbecomes clouds form before raining on the windward sideon windward side of the mountain. As a result, very little water is left in the air. After the rain fall, the remaining air becomes dry and continues over the mountainover mountain from the windward side to the leeward side and this process spans thousands of kilometres across the land.thousands of kilometres. Finally, the dry air reaches inland areas which causes them to remain aridlead to where keep dry over a long period. Thus, rain-shadow desertsthe rain-shadow deserts are formed.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response effectively describes all seven key stages shown in the diagram and includes a clear overall overview. The main limitation lies in grammatical inaccuracies and occasional awkward phrasing that disrupt the smooth flow of technical descriptions. Focus on improving complex clause structures and article usage to elevate the overall quality.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All numbered stages of the process are accurately identified and covered with a clear overview of the key progression.
Provide more detailed context regarding how geographical scale is represented across the diagram to deepen key feature descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and paragraph structure logically mirror the chronological sequence of the visual process.
Vary cohesive devices beyond basic sequential markers like 'then', 'finally', and 'after the rain fall'.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary accurately conveys the main concepts, though it relies heavily on labels taken directly from the prompt.
Paraphrase diagram labels using varied natural terminology such as 'precipitation', 'atmospheric moisture', and 'topographical barrier'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is attempted, but recurring errors in grammar, articles, and verb agreement are present.
Review relative clause construction and predicate structures to eliminate errors like 'reaches inland areas lead to where keep dry'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.