The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
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Sample Response
The diagram delineates the formation of a rain-shadow desert.
Overall, there are seven stages in total, commencing with winds approaching the coast and culminating in the formation of desert. This process can be broadly categorizedcan be re-categorized into three main phases,three major groups, namely the movement of winds carrying moisture from the sea,carrying sea water, precipitation and the final formationand final formation of desert. The whole process extends thousands of kilometers from the coast to the rain-shadow desert.coast and rain-shadow desert.
Initially, when the winds approach the coast and encounter the mountains, they are pushed upwards along the windward side. Next, as moist air rises and cools, dense clouds formwetty clouds which are full of water form before precipitating over the mountain peaks.on the top of the mountains.
Regarding the subsequent stages,Turning to the phase of forming desert, because of precipitation on the windward side, dry air continuesair which is dried continues over the mountainover mountain and descends down the leeward side.along the leeward side. Eventually, when the dry winds reach inland areas, a rain-shadow desert is formedrain-shadow desert is formed due to the lack of precipitation.due to a lack of water.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay provides a clear and accurate overview of the entire process, logically covering all seven stages shown in the diagram. The report is well-organized with effective paragraphing and good use of task-specific vocabulary such as 'windward' and 'leeward'. To improve further, refine word choices to avoid informal or inaccurate terms like 'wetty' and ensure correct article use before singular nouns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response successfully presents a clear overview and describes all seven key steps of the process accurately.
Ensure every summary phrase precisely matches the visual data without introducing inaccurate terms like 'sea water'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically structured into clear paragraphs following the chronological movement of the air mass.
Vary cohesive devices slightly more to avoid overly formulaic transition phrases at the start of paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good range of diagram-related vocabulary is used, though there are occasional inappropriate word forms and choices.
Replace informal or non-standard words like 'wetty clouds' with precise vocabulary such as 'rain clouds' or 'dense clouds'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures are used with generally good grammatical control and clear meaning.
Pay attention to minor noun phrasing and article agreement, such as adding necessary articles in phrases like 'over the mountain'.