The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
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Sample Response
This diagram explains how a rain-shadow desert, a specific type of desert, is formedhow the rain-shadow desert which is one type of desert is formed. Overall, it is obvious that there are seven stages in the formation of rain-shadow deserts, beginning with winds approaching the coast and ending with dry winds reaching inland areas, and the main influence comes from the mountain which results in dry winds. At the first stage in the formation of rain-shadow deserts, sea winds approach the coastapproach coast after which the wind is pushed upwards because of the presence of a mountain rangesignificant effects of mountains. Then, the moist air rises and cools forming cloudsand becomes clouds form, after which rain falls on the windward side of the mountain. As a result, very little water is left in the air. After the rain fall, the remaining air becomes dry and continues over the mountainover mountain from the windward side to the leeward side. Over a distanceMoreover, the distance from the coast to the inland desert is thousands of kilometres. Finally, dry winds reach inland areas, where there is little moisture. Thus, rain-shadow desertsthe rain-shadow deserts are formed.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a clear overview and accurately describes all seven stages involved in the creation of a rain-shadow desert. Its primary weakness lies in minor grammatical inaccuracies and slightly repetitive sentence structures when linking process steps. To improve, focus on refining complex sentence grammar and varying cohesive phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All key stages of the process are accurately identified and presented with a clear overall overview.
Ensure all details from the diagram are fully integrated smoothly without relying heavily on listed stage numbers.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organized into paragraphs with clear sequential progression throughout the process.
Vary cohesive devices beyond basic time markers like 'then' and 'after which' to enhance text flow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally accurate and effectively utilizes specialized labels from the diagram such as 'windward' and 'leeward'.
Incorporate a wider range of natural academic synonyms for movement and weather processes to avoid repeating prompt language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted, though minor structural errors and article slips occur.
Proofread verb structures carefully to avoid combining predicate forms incorrectly, such as in 'becomes clouds form'.