The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The diagramflowchart illustrates how one type of desert,known as a rain-shadow desert, israin-shadow desert is formed.
Overall,it is clear that the process consists of several main steps, which beginsteps,which begins with wind approaching the coast and ends with dry winds reaching inland areasends with reaching inland areas. It involves both climate and environmental processes.
Initially,the moist winds from the sea approaching the coast and then these windsand then winds are pushed upwards by the mountainsby mountain. Following this stage,the moist air rises and cools on the windward side,which causes clouds to form. Subsequently ,rain begins to fallthe rain begins to fall on this side,and most of the moisture is released from the airmuch more moisture is released from the air.
After crossing the mountain , dry air continues over the mountainover mountain along the leeward side, as the air descends, itwith the falling of air it becomes driermore dry. Finally,the dry winds reach inland areas,where there is very little rain fall. As a result, theAs a result the rain-shadow desert can span thousands of kilometreskilometers inland , which causes the formation of a rain-shadow desert.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response effectively describes all stages of the process illustrated in the diagram, providing a clear overview and logical step-by-step progression. The primary limitation lies in recurring grammatical errors, particularly missing articles and awkward clause structures, along with spacing errors around punctuation. To raise the overall quality, focus on improving grammatical control and revising mechanical errors before submission.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main stages of the rain-shadow desert formation process are accurately identified and logically presented with a relevant overview.
Incorporate key comparative details from the diagram, such as contrasting the precipitation on the windward side with the dry conditions on the leeward side.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged logically, using sequence markers effectively to transition between the different phases of the natural process.
Vary cohesive devices beyond basic temporal transitions to demonstrate a wider range of linking mechanisms.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used successfully conveys the visual data, though it relies heavily on labels extracted directly from the prompt diagram.
Use a broader range of synonyms and natural collocations, such as using comparative forms like drier rather than more dry.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but errors in article usage, clause connection, and punctuation spacing are noticeable.
Proofread carefully to ensure correct article inclusion with singular countable nouns and to fix spacing around commas.