When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
SalaryPayment from a job is one of the essential aspects for people to consider, but it is notconsider but it is not the only reason people take a new job or continue in an existing onecontinue the existing one. I personally believe that there are other important considerations whenwhile choosing a job. Without any doubt, salary is essential in order for people to survive and a great proportion of people rely on the money they get from their jobs. Most job-holdersMost of the job-holders pay for their housing, utility bills, food, medical treatmenttreatment, travel, education and so on from the money they get from their employers. It is evident that if employers stop paying the employees, there would be virtually no one left to work in a company. Teaching, sports, painting, politics and research are considered to be professions where passion is more important than money. However, if there is no money at all, I doubtI have doubt that anyone would pursue these careers. NeverthelessHowever, money is not the most important concern for someone to choose a job and there are other important considerations to start and continue a job. Passion for and interest in the workPassion and interest to the work, for instance, motivate many peopledrive most of the people to work. For instance, many established artists, actors, writers and scientists who have already amassed a great fortune would stop working if the sole purpose of work were moneywould have stopped working if the sole purpose of working would have been the money. In many casesFrom my personal experience, I can say that while choosing a job people most of the time consider a job they would enjoy rather than the money they would earn from it. Other important aspects, like Deletethe job security, career prospectsprospect, work environment, relationships with colleaguesrelationship with the colleagues and bosses are all important to choose a job. Personally, I would like to have a job that suits my educational background, letslet me learn and implement my ideas, have a great working environment and then I would consider the money I will get for the job. To conclude, salary is an important aspect for choosingpicking a job but other factors in combination play more vital roles and have more significance than the money.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and develops several relevant reasons why salary should not be the sole basis for choosing a job, supported by appropriate examples and useful topic vocabulary. Its main weakness is presentation: the essay remains one long paragraph and repeats key words and ideas, which weakens cohesion. Prioritise dividing the argument into focused paragraphs and adding a concise concession about situations in which salary may be decisive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly disagrees with the statement and supports the view that salary is important but not the only consideration. Ideas are relevant and developed, though some examples are repetitive and the essay could give more balanced attention to why salary may be decisive for some people.
Add a brief concession explaining when salary can be the most important factor, then show why other factors still matter overall.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically, but the whole essay is written as one long paragraph. Repetition of money, job, and important also reduces cohesion.
Use separate paragraphs for salary, non-financial factors, and the final judgement.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible enough for the topic, with phrases such as job security, career prospect, work environment, and educational background. Some collocations and repeated wording need refinement.
Vary repeated language with precise terms such as remuneration, financial necessity, professional fulfilment, and workplace culture.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally clear with several complex structures, but there are errors in verb forms, articles, conditionals, and prepositions. These errors are noticeable but rarely obscure meaning.
Check conditional sentences and noun phrases, especially after consider and while choosing.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.