When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In today's expensive world, the needs of peopleneeds of the people are growing day by day. To fulfil all their desires, money is an important factor. Therefore, to some people, salary is the first thing to look at when choosing a job. To somean extent, this can be considered right, but, I cannot totally rely on the amount of money I am being paid for my work. There are various other factors to considervarious other factors to be seen when looking for a job. Some of them are discussed belowdiscussed in the below paragraphs. People enjoy their jobs when they are doing the work that they wanted. Hence, personal satisfaction is the factor that matters. For example, if a doctorFor example if a doctor works in a high profile hospital of a city, where he gets a high salarya handsome amount of salary, but does not enjoy his work because he is not getting to experience different types of patients and cannot experiment with his skills as he would be doing if he were in a rural area, then what is the useif he were in a rural area. Then what is the use of having a high salary? His skills are being restricted. Job satisfaction is, therefore, important for the person to give his fullest in the field. Second, a vital factorSecond, vital factor to see is the working environmentambience of the workplace. The colleagues, with whom he is going to work and the employer should be cooperative, understanding, friendly and make up a good team so that it is easy for the person to work therewith and feels comfortable and relaxed. Finally, comes the reputation of the company or a workplace. A good reputation in the marketGood rapport in the market and with the customers is necessary to achieve success in future; otherwise, the growth will be hampered. To sum up, the aforementioned factors should be kept in mind when choosing a job. According to me, salary ofoff course matters, but it is not only the thing that should be looked for.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear disagreement and supports it with relevant alternatives such as job satisfaction, workplace atmosphere, and company reputation. Its argument is weakened by one-block organisation, an overlong and not fully convincing doctor example, and frequent language errors; acknowledge why salary matters, then organise the competing considerations into focused paragraphs with concise examples and a direct comparison in the conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay clearly disagrees with the idea that salary is the only important consideration and gives relevant alternatives: job satisfaction, workplace atmosphere, and company reputation. Development is adequate, but the argument is one-sided and the doctor example is rather long and not fully realistic.
Acknowledge why salary matters, then explain why satisfaction and work environment may be equally or more important.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a sensible order, but the whole essay is written as one block, which reduces cohesion. Some transitions are basic and the phrase discussed in the below paragraphs is mechanical.
Use paragraphing and clearer topic sentences for each factor: salary, satisfaction, work environment, and reputation.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, with phrases such as personal satisfaction, ambience, cooperative, reputation, rapport, and growth. Some word choices are unnatural or misspelled, including handsome amount of salary, ambience, and off course.
Use natural workplace language: competitive salary, job satisfaction, working environment, career growth, company reputation, and of course.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response is understandable and includes complex sentences, but errors in articles, punctuation, prepositions, pronoun consistency, and sentence boundaries are frequent.
Break long examples into shorter sentences and check article use before singular countable nouns such as factor, doctor, workplace, and company.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.