The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Sample Response
The provided graph presents data on the amount of leisurespare time men and womenboth Males and Females with different employment statusesfrom different employment status enjoyedhad enjoyed. The data represent figuresThe data available represents samples for 1998–1999from the year 1998- 1999 and the number of hoursand number of hours each gender spent on leisure.
OverallIn short, unemployed and retired men and womenunemployed and retired categories of both genders enjoyed more leisure hours. However, in all categories with data for both gendersin all the categories, males enjoyed more hours of leisurefree hours than females did. No data was given for leisure time enjoyed by male homemakersmen who stayed home and men who worked part-time.
Firstly, it is seen that unemployed and retired people of both gendersboth genders from ‘Unemployed’ and ‘Retired’ status enjoyed more leisure time (75-85 hours) than all other employment categoriesnature. This is perhaps due to the ample time they had to spend on leisure instead of work hours.
Secondly, it is observed that data for part-time-employed men and male homemakers aredata for men employed part-time and men who stayed at home is not provided in the chart. Also, women employed part-timepart-time employed females enjoyed fewer leisure hours (40 hours) than housewives (50hours) but slightly more than females with full-time jobs (about 38 hours35-39 hours).
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a valid overview, correctly identifying unemployed and retired people as having the most leisure and men as having more time wherever both sexes are shown. However, the detail is limited: it repeats the missing male categories, gives only a broad range for the main groups, and adds an unsupported explanation. Prioritise exact male-female comparisons for full-time workers, unemployed people, and retirees.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trends and available female-only categories are described accurately, but key comparisons are insufficiently developed and one speculative cause is added.
Report the approximate male and female figures for full-time employment, unemployment, and retirement, and remove the unsupported explanation for greater leisure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response uses clear paragraph breaks and an overview, but the body repeats points rather than developing the most important comparisons.
Group the three categories with both genders in one detail paragraph and the two female-only categories in another.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for the topic, though several phrases about employment status and leisure are unnatural or repetitive.
Use 'people in different employment categories', 'weekly leisure time', and 'full-time female employees'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the meaning, but agreement, articles, noun forms, and tense choices are not consistently accurate.
Revise phrases such as 'people of different employment statuses', 'the data represent', and 'men who stayed at home'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.