The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The graph provides a visual representation of the percentage of the populationpercentage of population living in four4 different Asian countries, namely the Philippinesnamely Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia, between the years 1970 and 2020, as well as possible predictions for the years 2030 and 2040.
Overall, Malaysia, Indonesia and Thailand reported a stable increase in the percentageprecentage, which is in sharp contrast with the Philippineswith Philippines, which reported fluctuationsa flucations over the 70-year period.
Both Indonesia and Malaysia rose steadily between 1970 and 2020started to rise gradually in the years 1970 to 2020, and are predicted to grow significantly, Indonesia to approximately 60% and Malaysia to nearly 85%, by the year 2040. Malaysia reached nearly 75% in the year 2020Malaysia reached its highest peak in the year 2020, after reporting athe marked increase from 30% to nearly 75% of the total population. This is followed by Indonesia with a rise of roughly 40 percentage pointsnearly 40% of population growth, from roughly 15% to over 55%.
As for the Philippines, whose urban populationpopulation of which experienced volatility over the 7050-year period, started to rise in percentage, reaching nearly 50% by the year 1990, which was then followed by a gradual decreaseby gradual decrease in number, droppingdroping to approximately 43% in 2010. After this, the percentage started to grow and is predicted to reach nearly 55% by the year 2040.
FinallyFurthermore, Thailand, which is predicted to be at the lowest point of the graph, started to grow in number moderately from almost 20% of population in 1970. In 2020, roughly 30% of the population was recorded for this country and is predicted to rise up to 50% in 2040.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response effectively summarizes the line graph by highlighting general trends, key statistics, and main comparisons across all four countries. The information is logically structured with clear paragraphing, making the overall report easy to follow. To improve, eliminate minor lexical and grammatical inaccuracies, such as spelling slips and word choice errors regarding proportions versus absolute numbers.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trends and key figures are accurately selected, reported, and compared across the full timeframe including projected figures.
Ensure precision when describing data points, avoiding minor inaccuracies such as mislabeling percentage changes as peak values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview is clearly presented, and information is logically organized into dedicated body paragraphs with appropriate transitions.
Refine linking expressions to ensure cohesive devices feel entirely natural and avoid redundant sentence openings.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of vocabulary is used to describe trends, but noticeable spelling mistakes and minor word choice errors occur.
Proofread carefully to fix spelling errors like 'precentage' or 'flucations' and avoid confusing percentages with absolute population counts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex grammatical structures is attempted with good overall control, though a few awkward clauses and missing articles remain.
Focus on refining relative clause structures and ensuring correct prepositional use when describing numerical changes.