The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
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Sample Response
The graph provides a visual representation of the percentage of the population living in cities across four Asian countriespercentage of population living in four different Asian countries, namely the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia, between the years 1970 and 2020, as well as possible predictions for the years 2030 and 2040.
Overall, Malaysia, Indonesia and Thailand showed a steady increasereported a stable increase in the percentage, which is in sharp contrast with the Philippines, which reported fluctuations over the entire 70-year timeframe.over the 70-year period.
Both Indonesia and Malaysia rose steadily between 1970 and 2020started to rise gradually in the years 1970 to 2020, and are predicted to climb further,grow significantly, Indonesia to approximately 60% and Malaysia to nearly 85%, by the year 2040. Malaysia reached roughly 75% in 2020 before continuing to riseMalaysia reached its highest peak in the year 2020, after reporting a marked increase from 30% to nearly 75% of the its urban demographic.total population. This is followed by Indonesia with nearly 40% of growth in its urban sharepopulation growth, from roughly 15% to over 55%.
As for the Philippines, population of which experienced volatility over the 50-year period, started to rise in percentage, reaching nearly 50% by the year 1990, which was then followed by a gradual decrease in urban share,in number, dropping to approximately 43% in 2010. From 2010 onwards,After this, the percentage started to grow and is predicted to reach nearly 55% by the year 2040.
Finally , Thailand, which is predicted to be at the lowest point of the graph, started to increase its sharegrow in number moderately from almost 20% of its population in cities in 1970.almost 20% of population in 1970. In 2020, roughly 33% of the population lived in urban areas, and this figure is projected to reach 50% in 2040.roughly 30% of the population was recorded for this country and is predicted to rise up to 50% in 2040.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report effectively highlights main trends and details key changes across all four countries over the given period. To improve, ensure data descriptions avoid minor inaccuracies regarding future projections and peak points, while polishing complex sentence structures. Refining phrasing related to proportions versus absolute numbers will also enhance overall clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview and describes key features with largely accurate data points.
Ensure all reported figures and peak points reflect the full timeline up to 2040 without misinterpreting mid-period points as absolute peaks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and ideas are logically organized with clear paragraphing and smooth transitions between countries.
Vary cohesive markers slightly to avoid overly repetitive paragraph openers when transitioning between different key features.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of vocabulary suited to trend descriptions is used flexibly across the essay.
Consistently distinguish between changes in 'percentages' and changes in total 'numbers' to maintain lexical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is demonstrated with generally strong grammatical control.
Refine the mechanics of relative clauses and eliminate minor punctuation errors such as spacing before commas.