The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
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Sample Response
The line graph describes data about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries Deletethat are in Asia between 1970 and 2040.
Overall, the urban population percentages in all four Asian countries increaseall percentage of the population living in cities in four Asian countries increase both historically and across the projection periodand not only in the past but also in future. In particular,Specially, Malaysia experiences the highest rate of urbanisation overallthis data in Malaysia sees the most significant growth. In contrast, urbanisation in Indonesia increases steeply, while Thailand experiences a more gradual rise.those in Thailand and Indonesia rise steadily.
The percentage of the population living in cities in Malaysialiving in Malaysia in cities goes up markedly from 30% to approximately 80% from 1970 to 2040. Then, a significant increase can be seen in the percentage of the population living in Indonesia in cities and it from the lowest position to the second highestthe least country to second country from about 15% to 60% at the same time.
There was a fluctuation in this percentage in the Philippinespercentage of Philippines from 1970 to 1980, after which it substantially jumped from roughly 34% to nearly 50%roughly 32% to 50% and then it slowly dropped from 1990 to 2010, before ascending significantly and it is projected to reach approximately 55%the line graph predict it will reach around 50% in 2040. Finally, the percentage of the populationFinally, percentage of the population in Thailandthe Thailand in cities increased gently but noticeably from 19% to approximately 33% by 2020just over 30%, and it is predicted to increase sharplythe graph predict there will see a steep increase in this data in the future.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully identifies key trends and main data points from the chart, providing a clear general overview. However, repetitive vocabulary and noticeable grammatical inaccuracies reduce the overall clarity of the description. To improve, focus on diversifying sentence structures and refining noun phrases used to describe statistical data.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends and main data figures are identified and described, including an overall overview of the general increases.
Group data points more effectively to make comparisons between countries clearer rather than describing each country in isolation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a basic logical structure, but sentence connections are often mechanical and repetitive.
Use a wider variety of linking words and cohesive devices to smooth the transitions between chronological observations.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient to convey main trends, but frequent repetition and awkward word choices are noticeable.
Vary language when introducing data and proportions to avoid overusing identical phrases like 'percentage of the population'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted, but grammatical errors and awkward phrasing frequently occur.
Focus on improving subject-verb agreement and complex clause structures when reporting figures and time periods.