The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
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Sample Response
The line graph describes data about the percentage of the population living in cities in four Asian countriesabout the percentage of the population in four Asian countries between 1970 and 2040.
Overall, the percentage of the population living in cities in all four Asian countries is projected to increase overall throughout the periodincreases not only in the past but also in the future. Specifically, the figure for Malaysia shows the most significant growth. In contrast, the figures for Thailand and Indonesia rise steadily.
The percentage of the population living in cities in Malaysia rose markedly and is predicted to reachgoes up markedly from 30% to overapproximately 80% from 1970 to 2040. Then, a significant increase can be seen in the percentage of the population living in cities in Indonesia, with the figure rising from the lowest to the second highest, from about 15% to 60% over the same period.
There was some fluctuation in this percentage in the Philippines. The figure increased from roughly 32% in 1970 to 50% in 1990, after which it slowly dropped until 2010, before rising steadily againascending significantly again, and the line graph predicts that it will reach around 5550% in 2040. Finally, the percentage of the population living in cities in Thailand increased gently but noticeably from roughly 18% in 1970 to just over 30% by 2020from 19% to just over 30%, and the graph predicts that there will be a steep increase in this figure in the future.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report successfully highlights key trends and features across all four countries with clear overall organization and accurate tense usage. The primary limitation lies in slight inaccuracies in specific data figures, such as understating the final projection for the Philippines. To improve, double-check numerical details against the chart axes and practice using a wider variety of transition words to enhance cohesion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report provides a clear overview and highlights key trends across all four countries, though there are minor inaccuracies in specific projections.
Ensure all numerical data points, such as the 2040 figure for the Philippines, precisely match the visual data.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into paragraphs, creating a clear progression of ideas across the response.
Vary cohesive phrases when introducing each country's paragraph to avoid repetitive sentence openers.
Lexical Resource
A good range of trend vocabulary is used effectively to describe increases, decreases, and fluctuations.
Incorporate a wider variety of advanced collocations to describe precise rates of change more flexibly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used with good grammatical control and correct tense choices.
Refine awkward phrasing in comparative structures to ensure full grammatical accuracy throughout.