The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
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Sample Response
The line chart compares the proportion of people living in cities in the Philippines,in Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia over the period from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall, it is clear that the percentages of residents living in cities in all four countries are projected to increase overallare on the increase from 1970 to 2040. Malaysia accounts for the highest proportion for most of the periodMalaysia stands the most share during the entire 70 years, and Indonesia had the lowest initial percentagelowest beginning but increased considerably between 1970 and 2040, while the Philippinesbetween 1970 and 2040, Philippines was the most unstable one with more pronounced fluctuations throughout the period.
We can see that at the beginning in 1970, people living in cities in four different countries stood respectively approximately over 30% in Philippines as the highest, followed closelytoughly by Malaysian people at about 30%. The third and fourthforth were slightly under 20% in Thailand and considerably less than 20% in Indonesia. About 30 years after 1970, Malaysia increased sharply to around 60%round 60% people in 2000. Philippines increased immediately after 1980 and then decreased from 1990 till 2010.
In 2000, the percentage of urban residents in Thailand was equal to that of Indonesiapercentage of citizens in Thailand was the same as Indonesia, at approximately 30%.about slightly under 30%. Before this year, Thailand was more than Indonesia, but after 2000, Indonesia took over Thailand. In 2010, Indonesia overtook the Philippinescrossed with Philippines and still rose dramatically. Regarding future projections,During predictions for 2030 and 2040, In 2040, Malaysia will remain the highest atstand most at just over 80%,much more than 80%, followed by Indonesia at slightly over 60% , and then Philippines at over 50%, and Thailand will be the lowest at under 50%.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response effectively highlights overall trends and provides a structured overview comparing urban population figures across all four countries. However, the report is weakened by occasional inaccuracies in data interpretation, along with recurring grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on refining prepositions, reducing run-on sentences, and precision in describing mathematical changes and rankings.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies key overall trends and includes comparative data for all four countries across the given timeframe.
Ensure high accuracy when reporting initial values and key intersections to avoid misrepresenting trends.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged logically in separate paragraphs with clear chronological progression.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect sentences smoothly and avoid repetitive clause structures.
Lexical Resource
A range of task-appropriate vocabulary is used to describe changes and comparisons, though some awkward word choices appear.
Replace informal or unnatural expressions with precise academic collocations for reporting statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A combination of simple and complex sentences is attempted, though minor errors in grammar and punctuation occur consistently.
Proofread for missing articles, correct preposition usage with country names, and proper sentence boundary punctuation.