The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Sample Response
The line graph compares the number of jobs across four different economiceconomy sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) in America between 1960 and 2020.in the years 1960 to 2020.
It is noticeable that the numbers of jobs in retail and healthcare experienced aan steady growth throughout the period, but an overall decrease was seen inan overall decrease happened to the other two. While the manufacturing industry had the most jobs for the majorityduring the first four decades of the given period, it was overtaken by retail and healthcare later.
In 1960, manufacturing topped the list with 15 million jobs, followed by retail and agriculture with almost the same figure (around 6 million). Healthcare had the lowest employment,Healthcare came much lower, with about 2 million jobsabout 2.5 million jobs. The following two decades saw a steady rise in all sectors except agriculture; during this time,all sectors but agriculture, while manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture took healthcare's position at the bottom, decreasing towith decreasing to roughly 3 million.
From 1980 to 2000, there was a continued upward trend in both retail and healthcare, with figures surging to 15 million and approximately 11 million respectively. Meanwhile, manufacturing experienced a dip of roughly 3 milliona roughly 3 million dipping, while agriculture remained stable. From 2000 to 2020,Since 1980, the number of jobsboth the numbers of jobs in retail and healthcare continued to rise moderatelykept increasing moderately to almost the same level in 2020 (about 16 million) and ranked the highest, while an opposite pattern happened to the remaining two sectorssections, with figures sliding to around 13 million for manufacturing and to roughly 2 million for agriculture.to roughly 2.5 million for healthcare.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response effectively highlights key trends and provides a clear overview with detailed comparative data across all four sectors. Its main limitation is a factual mix-up in the final sentence where healthcare was mistakenly credited with agriculture's low ending figure, alongside minor grammatical slips. Double-checking data accuracy against sector labels in the final overview stage will yield the highest quality improvement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends and major features are well selected and clearly outlined, though a data inaccuracy occurs in the final sentence where healthcare is confused with agriculture.
Ensure all final figures and sector names are carefully cross-referenced with the visual key to prevent accidental factual slips.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into well-structured paragraphs with clear overall progression throughout the timeframe.
Vary cohesive devices slightly to avoid repetitive structure transitions between paragraph time blocks.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary suited to describing trends and comparisons is used effectively, despite a few minor phrasing inaccuracies.
Refine noun phrases such as 'a roughly 3 million dipping' to more natural collocations like 'a drop of roughly 3 million'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is produced with good control, though occasional grammatical and article errors occur.
Proofread noun-verb agreements and article usage, such as correcting 'an steady growth' to 'a steady growth'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.