The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Sample Response
The line graph describes data about the number of people working in four sectors of the US economyeconomic market from 1960 to 2020. Overall, the number of jobs in retail and healthcare saw a significant rise, whereas a decline could be seen in the number of jobs in agriculture and manufacturing. The manufacturing sector of the economysectors of economy had the most people at the beginning of the period, but retail and healthcare sectors had the largest number of jobs by the end. Moreover, agriculture replaced healthcare as the sector with the fewest jobs. There was a significant increase in the number of jobs in retail over the 60 years from about 6 million to 16 million. In addition, the number of jobs in healthcare also markedly grew from approximately 2 million to 16 million over the same timeframeat the same time. A significant increase could be seen in the number of jobs in manufacturing, reaching 20 million in the first 20 years, after which it fell steadily to around 13 million by 2020steeply dropped from 1980 to 2020. Furthermore, there was a gradual overall declinegentle but substantial fall in the number of jobs in agriculture in the 60-year period to reach roughly 2 millionand finally reached roughly 2 million.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear and well-structured comparison of all four economic sectors with a strong overview highlighting overall trends and key positions. Sentence structures are varied and precise throughout the report, supported by effective cohesive devices. To reach a higher standard, ensure all data descriptions, such as the scale of change in manufacturing, are detailed with full accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends and figures are clearly presented alongside an informative overview covering initial and final comparisons.
Ensure all key dynamic changes, such as the precise rise and fall of manufacturing, are reported without overgeneralising the figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically into distinct thematic paragraphs with clear progression throughout the report.
Vary cohesive markers further to avoid repeating similar transitional phrases across consecutive paragraph openings.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of trend vocabulary and descriptive language is used appropriately to highlight changes in data.
Incorporate a wider range of precise lexical collocations when describing fluctuations and numerical endpoints.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex grammatical structures is produced with high accuracy and control throughout.
Ensure consistent article accuracy, such as including necessary articles in noun phrases like sectors of the economy.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.