The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
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Sample Response
The line graph illustrates changes indescribes data about the number of jobs in four economic sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020percentage of the population in four Asian countries between 1970 and 2040.
Overall, the percentage of the population living in cities in all four Asian countries increased not only in the past but is also projected to rise in the futureincrease and not only in the past but also in future. Specifically, the figure for Malaysia experiencedthis data in Malaysia sees the most significant growth. In contrast, the figures for Thailand and Indonesia rose steadilythose in Thailand and Indonesia rise steadily.
The percentage of the population living in cities in Malaysia wentgoes up markedly from 30% to approximately 80% over the entire 70-year periodfrom 1970 to 2040. SimilarlyThen, a significant increase can be seen in the percentage of the population living in Indonesian citiesliving in Indonesia in cities and it from the lowest position to the second highestto second highest from about 15% to 60% at the same time.
There was a fluctuation in this percentage in the Philippines from 1970 to 1980, after which it rose sharplysubstantially jumped from roughly 32% to 50% and then it slowly dropped from 1990 to 2010, before ascending significantly and the line graph predicts that it will reachthe line graph predict it will reach around 50% in 2040. Finally, the percentage of the population in urban Thailandin Thailand in cities increased gently but noticeably from 19% to just over 30%, and the graph predicts that there will bethe graph predict there will see a steep increase in this figure in coming decadesthis data in the future.
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response demonstrates a reasonable attempt at structure and uses a variety of trend vocabulary, which is its main strength. However, the candidate described a completely different graph regarding urban population in Asian countries rather than the provided prompt about US employment sectors. To improve, always verify that your data, categories, and timeframes match the visual information provided before writing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fails to address the provided chart, describing entirely off-topic data about population percentages in Asian countries instead of US job sectors.
Carefully examine the prompt and graphic key to ensure all reported categories, figures, and units reflect the provided visual prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay uses basic paragraphing and sequence markers, though cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or distorted by incorrect content.
Ensure transitions logically connect accurate descriptions of key trends and data points.
Lexical Resource
A fair range of vocabulary for describing movement is present, but word choice is occasionally inaccurate or misplaced.
Focus on using precise terminology tailored specifically to the data types shown in the graph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence attempts, but frequent grammatical inaccuracies and awkward structures hinder clarity.
Practice subject-verb agreement and proper clause structures when describing trend predictions and historical data.