Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
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Sample Response
In recent times, a lot of people dedicate a major amount of their time to playing video gamesonline entertainment programs. Some people state that playing video games is a harmless activity, while others believe that they have a negative effect on a person's development process. I personally think that video games have a severe long-lasting effect on people's general well-being.
It is evident that nowadays, technological advancement provides a wide range of video games for people of all ages. I partially agree with the notion that some of those games have a positive effect on individuals' educational and personal development, namely online chess games and programs, which help juveniles learn basic math equations while playing.
On the other hand, the negative effects of video games should not be overlooked. Dedicating a significant amount of a day to playing video games has a profound effect on a person's mental health and social detachment. It is widely known that computer programs cause severesever technological addiction problems, which will result in health deterioration, namely constant headaches, eyesight issues, and depressioneyesight issues and depression. Also, a lot of youngsters are notaren't developed enough to detect and avoid problems caused by video games, which will interfere with their education process and self advancement.
Furthermore, online video games are becoming more and more popular. A lot of people try to make friends using thisthese kind of programs and planplanning meet-ups with strangers. Nowadays, the crime level has increased significantly because of the unsupervised video games. A lot of people, especially childrenkids and women, are being constantly manipulated and threatened by the individuals they encounter while playing various video games.
To sum up, I personally think that the drawbacks of video games outweigh theirdrawbacks of the video games outweigh its positive effects. Consequently, video game developers should add regulations and safety measures in order to avoid profoundserious profound social issues.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear position throughout the essay and addresses both the benefits and drawbacks of video games before reaching a conclusion. However, some supporting arguments are logically weak or under-explained, and recurring grammatical and lexical inaccuracies affect overall clarity. To improve, focus on developing well-reasoned central ideas and refining grammatical precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You outline a clear opinion that drawbacks outweigh benefits, addressing both sides of the prompt.
Ensure all supporting points directly explain the main argument rather than introducing exaggerated or loosely connected claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organised into clear paragraphs with an overall logical progression.
Use more varied transitions between sentences and ensure smooth logical links within your supporting paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is used to discuss the topic, including some effective topic-specific terms.
Pay closer attention to word spelling and word choices to avoid inaccuracies like 'sever' and awkward phrase collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
You produce a mixture of simple and complex sentence structures that generally convey your meaning.
Review subject-verb and pronoun agreement rules to eliminate minor errors such as matching plural nouns with singular pronouns.