Some people think that young people should spend more of their free time at home with their families and spend less time entertaining outside. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Sample Response
In contemporary society, how young people should spend their free time remains a topic of considerable debate.how young people spend their free time is an issue that few can afford to ignore. Opinions are divided between those who believe that young people should spend more leisure time at home with their families and those who maintain that they should be allowed to enjoy themselves outside more freely. While there is some merit in each perspective, I find the former more compelling.
To begin with, this position is grounded in both sound reasoning and practical considerations. One of the strongest arguments in its favour is that family time gives young people a stronger sense of emotional security. This reasoning carries considerable weight because regular conversations with parents can help teenagers deal with pressure, confusion, and emotional problemspressure, confusion and emotional problems before these issues become more serious, Deletethereby strengthening the case for this position. A growing body of research indicates thatlends support to the conclusion that adolescents who maintain close family relationships are generally less likely to suffer from loneliness or develop unhealthy habits. A further consideration that warrants closer examination is that staying with family can also shape young people’s values in a more stable way. The logic underpinning this point is that parents are often able to correct immature decisions and offer guidance based on real life experience. It is only by considering these two factors together that we can fully appreciate the strength of this argument.
Compelling though this position may be, the opposing view also has its merits. Proponents of the other view argue thatOne potential objection is that spending time outside gives young people more freedom and social experience, a concern that arises from the fact that friendship, independence, and communication skillsfriendship, independence and communication skills are often developed beyond the family environment. On closer examination, however, a fundamental flaw in the logic of this argument becomes apparent: greater freedom does not necessarily lead to meaningful social development. This is becauseThe explanation for this lies in the fact that many young people are not mature enough to distinguish healthy recreation from time-wasting or risky behaviour. This problem becomes particularly evident when we consider that some teenagers spend entire evenings in shopping malls, arcadesgame centres or social gatherings without any clear purpose. In light of this limitation, the opposing view, while understandable, does not carry enough weight to be decisive.
In conclusion, although this issue remains a matter of debate, the position that young people should spend more free time with their families stands out as the more balanced and practical one.
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response presents a well-structured and highly articulate argument that directly addresses both perspectives in the prompt while maintaining a clear, consistent position throughout. The writing features exceptional coherence, sophisticated vocabulary, and a wide variety of accurate grammatical structures with virtually no errors. To enhance the essay further, the candidate could provide a more fully developed defense of the counter-argument before refuting it, ensuring both sides receive equal depth.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All parts of the prompt are addressed with a clear position maintained throughout, though the opposing view is dismissed somewhat quickly compared to the main argument.
Ensure both sides of the debate are explored with balanced detail before evaluating their respective strengths and weaknesses.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized with smooth transitions between paragraphs and highly effective cohesive devices throughout.
Maintain this high standard of paragraph structuring and logical progression in future tasks.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of sophisticated vocabulary and natural collocations is used with full precision and natural control.
Continue using precise, context-appropriate vocabulary without overusing template phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response demonstrates a wide range of complex grammatical structures with consistently high accuracy and error-free control.
Sustain this level of flexibility and accuracy while trying out varied complex sentence types.