The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Sample Response
The given graph gives information on the number of leisure hours enjoyed by males and femalesmale and female with different employment statusesstatus in an average week in 1998–1999in an average week of the year 1998 and 1999. As is observed from the graph, males had more free time than femalesthe male had more free times than the female and employed people enjoyed fewer hours of free timeless free hours than the unemployed or retired persons on averageon an average.
In summary, the graph depicts that the male had more leisure time to enjoy than the female possibly because of the females involvement in household works and people without jobs had almost double leisure times than the employed population.
The bar chartThe line graph compares the amount of leisure time enjoyed by people with different employment statuses and also compares the leisure hours between men and women. In a typical week of 1998 - 1999, full-time employed men had about 45 hoursmore than 40 hours of leisure time compared to the 38 hours of leisure time38 hours leisure time of women. Part-time employed womenFemales with part-time jobs had 40 hours of free time which was two hours more thanwhich is 2 hours more than the full-time employed womenfull time employed woman Deletewhich is natural considering the job natures. No data for men in part-time employment or homemakingpart-time employed and house staying men were given in the illustration. On the other hand, unemployed and retired males had more than 80 hours of leisure time in a week while females of these 2 categories had around 78 hours of free time in a week. The amount of leisure time enjoyed by housewives was 50 hours, which was less50 hours which is less than the unemployed and retired females but higher than for employed womenhigher that employed females.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overall comparison and covers every employment group with mostly accurate figures, particularly the contrast between employed and unemployed or retired people. Its main weakness is unnecessary repetition and unsupported explanation, such as attributing women’s leisure patterns to housework, alongside recurring awkward phrasing. Prioritise a concise overview and objective grouped comparisons, then edit plural and comparative forms for accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents the principal patterns and relevant figures accurately, but it adds unsupported speculation about housework and repeats the overview.
Keep the report objective and use the overview only for the two main patterns before presenting selected figures by employment status.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a clear introduction, overview, and detailed comparison, though repeated framing and long sentences make progression less efficient.
Remove the second introduction to the graph and divide the detailed comparisons into employed and non-employed groups.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for comparisons, but awkward plurals and collocations such as “free times,” “household works,” and “job natures” recur.
Use natural forms such as leisure time, housework, employment status, and the nature of the job.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is attempted, but recurring article, possessive, plural, and comparative errors limit grammatical control.
Check noun number and comparison patterns, especially “men had more leisure time than women” and “higher than.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.