Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Sample Response
Nowadays, it is an important question whether we should let children and young peopleour young children play computer games or the games should be banned. While some people think it is fine for their children to play, others believe it is unacceptable. As far as I am concerned, the disadvantages of video games outweigh the advantages. One possible benefit is thatFirst of all, the possible benefits of computer games should be mentioned. There is a wide range of games created for educational purposes, especially for very young childrenthe very young children. This allows kids to learn how to use modern computers as well as new concepts or skillssome new information from the educational game. Additionally, for youngsters, games can keep them away from bad companyfrom bad companies. They can simply sit at home communicatingsit home communicating with their friends and having fun instead. However, there are also several drawbacksthe number of drawbacks also takes place. Modern games are expensive and usually involve additional in-game purchasesfurther purchases while the game is being played. Another aspect is the time children spend playingon computer games. Instead of education and learning, kids waste hours online even without breaks, thereby harming their healthinfluencing the condition of their health. The most serious disadvantage of video gamesThe most considerable disadvantage in video games is violent contentcruelty. Although there are age limits, parents still buy such games for their infants. As we know, there have been a few cases when children took guns and shotshoot innocent people on the street. Computer games can have negative effectsThe computer games have the negative effects on health and psychology as well. Young students who are addicted to games often perform poorly in their academic studieson academic studies. To sum up, although there are fun and educational games, most modern video gamesthe most of the modern video games are violent and cruel, and this may have dreadful consequences. Therefore, I believe there are more drawbacks than benefits.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and considers both educational benefits and several plausible harms, giving the argument a recognisable direction. Its main limitation is that the discussion is presented as one block and the strongest claims about violent games are too broad to be convincing. The highest-priority improvement is to use clear paragraphs and support each major drawback with measured, specific reasoning rather than sweeping cause-and-effect claims.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay gives a clear opinion that drawbacks outweigh benefits and covers both sides, but some claims about violence are overgeneralised and need more careful support.
Balance the discussion by explaining two concrete drawbacks and one limited benefit, then qualify strong claims about real-world violence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a logical order from benefits to drawbacks to conclusion, but the entire essay is one paragraph and some transitions are abrupt.
Use separate paragraphs for introduction, benefits, drawbacks, and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally adequate for the topic, with some useful phrases, but word choice is sometimes repetitive or inaccurate.
Use terms such as educational games, screen time, in-game purchases, violent content, addiction, and academic performance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is mostly clear, though article errors, awkward noun phrases, and occasional tense errors remain.
Check articles before plural/general nouns and use concise structures when discussing causes and effects.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.