The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Sample Response
The chart shows the duration of leisure enjoyed by men and women in a an average weektypical week in 1998-99, by gender and employment statusaccording to their gender and employment status.
Generally speaking, menmale enjoyed more leisure time than women, and employed people had less free time for leisurepastime activities than retired and unemployed people.
Among full-time employeesAmong the full-time employed people, men had about 45 hours of leisure time on averageon an average per week compared to 38 hours for women. No data is given for the part-time employed men. Women in this categoryfrom this category, enjoyed 40 hours of leisure time in a week. This figure is slightly higher than that for full-time employed womenslightly more than the employed women, perhaps because of their employment nature.
Unemployed and retired people had the greatest amount of leisure timelongest period of leisure activity for both men and womenboth for men and women, and men had slightly more hoursa slightly more hours to spare than women. DeleteAs expected, the retired and unemployed people enjoyed about 78 to 8582 hours per week which is more than the amount available to peoplewhich is longer than people from other employment categoriesstatus. Lastly, housewives enjoyed approximately 50 hours of pastime which was more than the employed women but less than the unemployed and retired women.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear overview and selects the main comparisons accurately, with effective coverage of all employment groups and the gender pattern. Its main limitation is that some figures are grouped too broadly and a few language errors weaken precision; the highest-priority improvement is to compare the unemployed and retired categories separately with their exact values while checking agreement and countable-noun forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate coverage of all categories identify the principal gender and employment-status contrasts.
Report the unemployed and retired figures separately and avoid the unsupported speculation about employment nature.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to employed groups and then to those with the most leisure time.
Make the final comparison slightly more explicit so each high-leisure category is distinguished rather than grouped together.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, although expressions such as 'employment nature' and repeated uses of 'pastime' are awkward.
Use more natural combinations such as 'type of employment,' 'free time,' and 'hours of leisure.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A useful range of sentence structures is controlled well enough for meaning to remain consistently clear despite several local errors.
Check plural agreement and countable forms, especially 'men enjoyed,' 'slightly more hours,' and 'other employment statuses.'
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.