The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Sample Response
The bar graph illustrates the duration of free time enjoyed by males and femalesmale and female with various employment statusesprofessional status in a typical week in 1998-99. At first glanceAt the first glance, it is clear that unemployed and retired peoplejobless and pensioner people had more leisure timea longer idle time to enjoy and men enjoyed more leisure hours than women.
It is crystal clear that the most leisure timehighest spare hours were available to those who didn’t work or who retired from their jobs. It is worth noticing that, men, regardless ofmen regardless of employment statusscenario, had more leisure timemore hours to kill than womenthan that of females. As it is presented in the diagram, full-time employed people had fewer leisure hours than people with other employment statusesprofessional states. Male who worked from 9 to 5, had approximately 43 hours of free time per week whereas, females had roughly 38 hours spare time to relish. No data were provideddata was given for the part-time employed men, whilemen, meanwhile, women with this employmentworking status had aboutexactly 40 hours of leisure time per weekto appreciate during the week. By comparisonOn top of that, housewives had 10 more free hours than the part-time employed females in a week.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is a clear overview identifying unemployed and retired people as having the most leisure and men as generally receiving more than women. Its main limitation is incomplete selection of key data, especially the missing figures for the two highest categories, while awkward collocations and frequent grammatical slips reduce precision. Prioritise reporting the unemployed and retired values directly, then revise comparisons in natural, controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the main gender pattern and highest-leisure groups, and the details accurately cover full-time, part-time female and housewife data, but the key unemployed and retired figures are omitted.
Add the approximate male and female values for the unemployed and retired groups and compare these two highest categories directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable introduction, overview and detail sequence, although the overview is repeated and connectors and punctuation sometimes make progression mechanical.
Keep one concise overview and organise the detail paragraph by employment category using fewer, more precise linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to describe work status and leisure, but recurring expressions such as “hours to kill,” “professional states” and “spare time to relish” are inappropriate for a formal report.
Use neutral chart vocabulary such as “employment status,” “leisure time,” “recorded” and “accounted for” consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but frequent article, agreement, comparison and comma-placement errors reduce control.
Correct plural noun phrases such as “men and women,” remove misplaced commas around clauses, and form comparisons with “than women” rather than “than that of females.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.