The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the amountduration of time that men and women with different employmentoccupation statuses spent on leisure activitiesdedicated to leisure activities in a typicalusual week in a typical week in 1998–99based on an average between 1998 and 1999. A glance at the graph reveals that unemployed and retired people had more spare time than the other groupshad more spare time to enjoy than that of others.
It is clear that unemployed and retired people enjoyed considerably more leisure time than the other groupsfar more free time for their recreational activities than others. In addition, an important fact to mention is that men had more available time to enjoy than women did.
The total time spent for leisure activities by jobless and retired men were very similar, 84 and 83 hours per week respectively, while women spent about 78 hours per week on both statuses. Men employed full timeFull time employed men had about 44 hours of free time per weekabout 44 hours free time weekly and their female counterpartswomen in this category had approximately 38 hours per week. Women who had a part-time job enjoyed 40 hours of leisure per week40 hours per week spending on pleasure pursuits. Housewives had 10 hours more than part-time employed women10 hours more, totallingtotalizing 50 hours a week for their recreational activities. No data forNo information regarding part-time employed and male homemakershome staying men was given.
Why this response received Band 7.5
Accurate selection of the main patterns and figures, supported by a clear comparison between male and female leisure time, is the response’s strongest feature. The main limitation is repetitive overview material and several awkward or imprecise expressions that reduce fluency. The highest-priority improvement is to state the overview once, then present the detailed comparisons with more natural collocations and consistently accurate grammar.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately reports the principal figures and gender comparisons across the employment groups.
Make the overview more concise by stating each main pattern once and reserving numerical support for the detail paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the general patterns to grouped details, although the first two paragraphs repeat the same overview point.
Combine the repeated overview statements into one focused paragraph and use the saved space for sharper grouping of the figures.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, but phrases such as “occupation statuses,” “spent for leisure activities,” and “totalizing” are awkward.
Use more natural combinations such as “employment categories,” “time spent on leisure,” and “amounting to 50 hours.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with generally good control, though agreement and phrasing errors occur in several sentences.
Check subject-verb agreement and noun-phrase construction, especially in sentences where the subject is “time” rather than the people described.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.