Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Sample Response
Nowadays, people are spending most of their time on computers, mobile phones and the internet. They mostly play video games and watch movies on their devices. So, the increasing useusages of mobile phonesthe mobile phones and computers for playing video games is a common trend nowadays. Some people believe that playing video games hashave harmful effects on people, and others believe that it is a useful tool for them. In this essay, I would like to give my reasons for both perspectivesboth the aspects and at last in the conclusion, I will give my opinion.
Firstly, people spend their time on computers and mobile phone for playing video games as a form of entertainment to escape stressto out from stress and daily busy life. There are many kinds of video games available on the internet. For example, some video games require a good level of knowledge to solve problems and puzzles and this is helpful to develop logical reasoning. In some video games, we need to apply our intelligence and think creativelydo brainstorm so that we can sharpen our capability to solve many difficult problems. This logic can be applied to our studiesstudy, in order to solve mathematical problems. So, for this reason, I would like to consider that playing video games, which are carefully chosen, is a useful and harmless tool for people.
On the other hand, there are also some disadvantages in playing video games. Some video games require fighting and violent activities to win the game. So, continuous playing of these kinds of games can lead individuals towardstake individuals to lead criminal activitythe criminal activity. It may causeIt may a cause serious problem to society. Even, there are some kinds of video games available on the internet which may not require additional knowledge and logic to solve it and they are simply designed to kill time. These kinds of games consume people's timeconsume the time of people and make them more tired and less engaged with their worklazy about their works and study.
So, putting in a nutshell I would like to say it depends on individuals whether video games are used to learn or to kill time. As of knowing advantages and disadvantages of video games, it is an individual's own responsibilityan individual’s own responsibilities to control themselves before wasting their valuable time.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay discusses educational benefits and possible harms and uses a recognisable four-paragraph structure. Its central weakness is that it never clearly decides whether the drawbacks outweigh the benefits, while several claims, especially the link between violent games and crime, are asserted without adequate support. State a direct comparative position, develop fewer ideas with evidence, and correct frequent agreement, article and word-form errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are relevant, but the required outweigh judgment remains unclear and key claims are underdeveloped.
State and defend whether harms are greater than benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically divided, though signposting is formulaic and progression within sentences is uneven.
Use claim-explanation-example sequences rather than repeated So links.
Lexical Resource
Topic vocabulary is adequate, but inaccurate forms and collocations recur.
Learn common phrases for stress relief, problem-solving and violent behaviour.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range is attempted, but agreement, articles and verb patterns are frequently inaccurate.
Check plural subjects and infinitive structures systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.