Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Sample Response
Video games are widely played throughout the world. Many consider video gamesthis video game a form of entertainmentas a form of having fun and both harmless and educationally beneficialnot only harmless but also educationally beneficial. Others believe that the disturbing content of such games can negatively affect players' behaviourinfluence one’s mind negatively. However, the demerits of video games, if any, that the critics put forth seem trivial when compared with their benefitscompared to its beneficial ramifications. This view can be supported by consideringTo prove this, both sides will be consideredboth the views will be critiqued. First, it is a well-known fact that video games can be educational. For instance, based on several studiesa few research works published in the studies of strategy gamesJournal of American Behavioral Psychology, it is proven through various experiments that young people can develop problem-solving skills and subject knowledgehone their intelligence and knowledge by playing strategy games. This proves that video games do have the potential to stimulateflourish young minds when regularly engaged in such activities. As far as the other view is concerned, there is little evidence to prove that video games can cause violent behaviour in playersinstigate violence among people. A research work recently published in the same journal mentioned above illustrates this in action. According to this work, ‘violent’ people who play video games are naturally inclined towards games that contain violent content and imagery; howeverimagery etc., however, their behavioural issues could not be linked to the content of those video games they were exposed to; rather, it was found to be more strongly associated with prior preferencesjust a matter of preference. Having analysed both these arguments, it has been proved that video games can be beneficial as they can increase general knowledge and intelligence, and the fact that the violentabsurd themes of such games are very unlikely to instil violence. It is expected that video games’ popularity Deletewill continue to rise among young people in particular, and will continue to benefit them in ways that may not always be obviousbenefit them in although not so obvious ways.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay gives a clear answer that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and develops both educational value and the disputed link with violence. The argument is generally coherent, but the evidence is presented as definitive research without enough precision, and some claims and expressions are awkward or overstated. Strengthen the reasoning with cautious, concrete support and polish collocations and sentence endings.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully answered with a consistent position and developed support, though the research examples are vague and the educational benefit is somewhat narrow.
Use credible, specific examples and acknowledge one genuine drawback before explaining clearly why it is outweighed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically ordered and linked, but formulaic signposting and a very long evidence sentence reduce fluency.
Use clear paragraphing and make each paragraph follow claim, explanation, example, and link.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and often precise, but several combinations are unnatural or inflated, including beneficial ramifications, flourish minds, and absurd themes.
Prefer direct academic wording and check whether each verb naturally takes its object.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally sound control, though agreement, pronoun reference, punctuation, and the final clause contain errors.
Check singular/plural reference and simplify long semicolon-heavy sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.