Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Sample Response
Nowadays, most people of all age groups, especially young adults, are drawn to video games as technology developswith the high technology developing year after year. Video game devices such as PlayStation 4Play Station Four and Nintendo Wii are popular examples of high-tech devices. Although playing video games can be quite fun, it can also affect the player negatively. I believe that video games have more cons than proswithhold cons more than pros.
One adverse effect of video gamesOne of its adverse effects is that it is a waste of time. Playing video games is not much of a problem when limits are setpresent, but most individuals exceed this limit. Some people set a two-hour time limitput down a two-hour time limit for play but sadly end up playing for more hours and are not aware of time. Rather than spending one's time on such games, it is more beneficial to the individual to take the time to read books or even spend time on a favourite hobby, for instance, that will most probably help that skill developlead it to evolve over the years.
Another reason to support my opinion is that it reduces human-to-human contactlessens the human to human contact. Because of the hours spent on video gamesDue to the hours taken on video games, the person will not have a normal social life where people speak face to face. A young adult may choose to turn down a trip to the mallA young adult playing, choosing to turn down going to the mall with friends where they will socialise, can be taken as an example. Modern games have many violent and devastating plots and game actions that can psychologically affect the players. The gamers suffer from various health problems and often are less social.
To draw the conclusion, the benefits of video gamespositive sides of the video games are fewer when compared to the negative sides. Video gaming should be limited to certain hours and the remaining free timethe rest of the time wasted should be replaced by socialising and activities that will benefit one’s future.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The position is clear, and the essay develops several relevant drawbacks through a logical paragraph structure and generally appropriate topic vocabulary. However, the benefits are barely assessed, while some examples, collocations, and complex sentences are awkward or imprecise. Add a concise paragraph on educational or entertainment benefits, then compare it directly with the stronger drawbacks using precise wording and cleaner sentence construction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response gives a clear opinion that drawbacks outweigh benefits and develops several negative effects, but the benefits are only briefly acknowledged rather than assessed.
Include one short paragraph explaining the possible educational or entertainment benefits before showing why the drawbacks are stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and progression is generally logical, though some examples are awkwardly attached and the conclusion repeats rather than synthesizes.
Use topic sentences that name each drawback and make examples directly support the paragraph's main point.
Lexical Resource
Topic vocabulary is generally adequate, with some useful phrases, but there are inaccurate collocations and overgeneral expressions.
Use precise wording such as reduce face-to-face interaction, educational benefits, and outweigh the advantages.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses mostly clear sentence structures, but errors with articles, prepositions, and clause construction appear regularly.
Check each complex sentence for the correct subject and object and avoid adding extra phrases after the main clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.