Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Sample Response
In the information technology ageIn information technology age, many people spend time using digital entertainmentpeople are engaged with computer programs; one of the most popular computer programs is video games. Although having some negative effectseffect, video games can teach some useful skills. This essay outlines both positive and negative effectseffect of video games. Video games are made in different genres including horror, sports, adventure, and other genreshorror, sport, adventure etc. Some of these games are useful and educational. Players of these games need basic information and skills to complete them. For instance, a plane simulation game requires a player to know primary pilot skills; so the player has to gather some information about pilot skills such as Deletetaking off, landing, navigation, and etc. Gradually, the player develops some skillsfeels some skills in him. Furthermore, puzzle games challenge playersthe puzzle games make player challenging with hidden parts of the game's storysecret points of the game's story. These types of gamesRecent mentioned games type increases players’ creativity. In a nutshell, video games can be useful and educational. On the other hand, some games are not beneficial. Horror games are a good exampleThe horror game is a good example. They have a negative effectmake a bad effect on players’ morality. In addition, playing video games is usually addictiveplaying video games usually is addictive. Video game players play more and more heedless of time. This may cause weight gainmay cause overweight. Latterly, the main factors of most of the video games are sex and violence. These factors lead society in a harmful directionnavigate the society to dark way. Thus, video games have undesirable aspects. To conclude, video games have both good and bad impacts. Choosing the right game is the first step to use them rightly. How to play and how much to play are the latter steps. It depends on the player how to act wisely.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response covers both educational benefits and harmful effects with several relevant examples, so its central ideas are easy to identify. The main limitation is that it never clearly decides whether the drawbacks outweigh the benefits, and the mostly single-paragraph presentation plus frequent language errors weaken clarity. State a direct comparative position in the introduction and conclusion, then separate the two sides into focused paragraphs and support the final judgment explicitly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses benefits and drawbacks of video games, but it does not clearly answer whether drawbacks outweigh benefits.
State a direct opinion in the introduction and conclusion, then compare the strength of the benefits and harms.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a basic two-sided structure, but it is mostly one paragraph and cohesion is mechanical in places.
Use separate paragraphs for benefits, drawbacks, and final judgment, with clearer topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is relevant but limited and often inaccurate, especially around games, effects, addiction, and society.
Use precise phrases such as educational value, problem-solving skills, excessive gaming, sedentary habits, and harmful content.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in articles, plurals, word forms, and sentence construction sometimes reduce clarity.
Check noun phrases and use simple accurate clauses before adding complex examples.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.