Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Sample Response
The issue of whether video games are useful or harmfulThe issue whether the video games are in its usefulness or in harmfulness for the people is a very controversial onevery controversial one. On the one hand, Deletethe most of the gamers I know, are very clever peoplepersons. On the other hand, there are those who think that a person who is sittingperson who is sitting in front of a computer all day long cannot be an educated person. However, in my point of view, I think the benefits can outweigh the drawbacks if gaming time is controlledI think that any kind of game can be useful. In the following paragraphs, I will try to bring up some advantages and disadvantages of the issue.
There are a few main argumentsThere are few main arguments that can be advanced to support the issue about computer games as a fun or educational tool. First of all, the computer games help to cure some mental problems and educate at the same time. For example, some visual or cognitive skillssome problems with eyes, nerves etc. In that kind of games, a person has to count and follow the birds and at the same time to listen to music. The second reason, Deletegames help people to think logically. In the early age they develop a child’s thinking, concentration, motivation, why not help with reading etc. For example, in some video games, you have to pick up keys and remember some words for opening doors or codes.
On the other side, it is not a secret that nowadays with the development of computerswith developing of computer and different kinds of games, people spend much time in front of a computer, which leads to isolation from the real worldbrings to our isolation from the world. Furthermore, people spend so much time for playing games that they forget about other more important thingsthat forget about other more important things, as a face to face contact, walking, playing real games not virtual.
In conclusion, in my opinion, every person has to limit their timehave a measure of the time and not to spend all the time doing the same thing.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response considers both educational benefits and social drawbacks, using a clear basic structure and topic-relevant vocabulary. Its main weakness is that it never directly decides whether the drawbacks outweigh the benefits, while several examples are unclear and frequent language errors make the argument awkward; state a firm comparative position, support each side with one credible example, and carry that judgement through to the conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both benefits and drawbacks of video games and gives a general positive view, but it never clearly answers whether drawbacks outweigh benefits. Some examples, especially curing eye and nerve problems, are unclear or weakly supported.
State directly whether the drawbacks outweigh the benefits, then develop one strong benefit and one serious drawback before weighing them.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is paragraphing and a basic two-sided structure. However, progression is weakened by unclear introductory framing, a brief conclusion, and some abrupt links between examples.
Use a thesis sentence in the introduction and a conclusion that summarises your weighing of benefits against drawbacks.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, including educational tool, mental problems, think logically, isolation, and face to face contact. However, word choice and collocation errors are frequent, such as in its usefulness or harmfulness, develop a child's thinking, and have a measure of the time.
Use natural phrases: whether video games are useful or harmful, develop children's thinking skills, social isolation, and limit screen time.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally clear, but errors in articles, plural forms, prepositions, and clause structure are frequent. Several sentences are long and awkward.
Check article use with video games, person, computer, and game, and simplify long sentences before adding examples.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.