In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Excess body weightThe overweight of people is a global issue as the number of obese people is increasing in many countries. At the same time, the quality of their health and fitness are declining. Some individuals assume that these matters occurare occurred because of overconsumptionover-consumption of fast foods, a sedentary lifestyle and a lack of awarenesssedentary lifestyle and lack of consciousness. In spite of the harmfulhorrible effects of this lifestyle, people can minimise those trends by frequently eating organic fruit and vegetableseating some organic vegetables and fruits frequently and exercising regularlydoing exercise regularly.
To begin with, fast foods are a major cause of excess weightthe major cause of overweight. Every person who loves consuming these meals has a tendency to become overweight or obeseobtain inappropriate weight, particularly, obesities. In fact, junk foods contain fewer nutrientsless nutrition and more fat. This circumstance may come from ingredients which are used to produce the foods. Fast foods, in most casesin most of the cases, contain ingredients which are harmful to our bodiesbody and cause rapid weight gain.
Secondly, people nowadays live a sedentary lifestyle and rely on technology to do their tasks. They even rely on ready-made foods to avoid cooking at home. Reliance on the computer and the internet has decreased their outdoor activities and very few people these days participate in sports and exercises. As a result, their health condition is decreasing as well as weight is increasing.
Finally, the lack of consciousness among people is another reason for this to happen. Apart from teens and children most of us know the harmful side effects of fast food intake and not exercisingnot doing exercises. Yet, we choose to live a life that we know would be harmful to us.
However, the preceding issue can be addressed through a few measurescan be deterred by few steps. Firstly, people should get used to purchasing organic vegetables and fruits which do not contain chemicals. Although the prices of these organic foods are not as cheap as non-organic onesnot cheap as non-organic one, their benefits are essential to maintaining our healthbenefits are indispensable to support our healthy. Secondly, it is often stated that to keep your body in good condition requires exercises daily basis. Doing sport can be adequate help to obtain ideal weight. For instance, going to the gym every week and walking in the evening can keep our body from being sick. We need to avoid fast foods as much as possible and put more effort on staying healthy by getting involved in physical exercises. The government can build more sports centres and gyms to encourage people to take part in exercises and reducing pollution would be another effective measure that should be ensured from the government’s end.
In brief, people may choose to eat fast foods; however, this behaviour can cause serious health issues. It would be better if people seek more information about the foods and doing sport to decrease the disadvantages of fast foods.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both causes and solutions in a clear sequence, with relevant discussion of diet, inactivity, awareness, exercise, and public facilities. Its strongest ideas are developed through explanation and examples, but some proposed measures are weakly connected to the stated causes and frequent language errors reduce precision. Focus the solution section on directly matched, feasible measures and edit recurring word-form, agreement, and sentence-pattern errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The main causes and measures are both addressed with generally relevant explanation, although organic food and pollution are not convincingly tied to the weight and fitness problems.
Match every proposed measure to an identified cause and explain how it would reduce excess weight or improve fitness.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically from causes to solutions and uses clear paragraphing, but repetition within the solution section and some loose references reduce cohesion.
Consolidate overlapping advice about exercise and fast food, and use specific nouns instead of vague references such as this circumstance or the preceding issue.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary and some flexibility, but frequent inaccurate collocations, word forms, and countable-noun choices make expression noticeably awkward.
Build accuracy with common health collocations such as gain weight, nutritional value, physical activity, and raise awareness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are used, but errors in agreement, articles, passives, comparatives, and verb complementation occur frequently despite generally clear meaning.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and verb patterns, especially after modals, require, encourage, and parallel constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.