In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Weight and health of a person are inter-related aspects. Nowadays, it seems that obesity has become a significant concern in some countries; as a result, peoplecountries, as a result people there are getting less healthy than beforerelatively unhealthy than before. In this essay, the factors relating to overweightover-weight and the ways to tackle them willwould be discussed.
There seem to be various reasons whyreasons on why people become obesea victim of obesity. Firstly, the popularity of public and private vehicles hashave, to a large extent, discouraged people from walking to worktheir works, shopping places etc. Secondly, there are few people who are regularly involved in some form of exercisesome forms of exercises to burn their calories. Furthermore, the increasing trend towards consuming junk foodtrend of intake of junk foods like noodles, chips and cafeteria products such ascafeteria products as burgers, pizzas etc. have significantly contributed to increasing people's calorie intakedumping calories in people. For example, a guy from my neighbourhood does not go to the gym and takes a large amount of high-calorie fast foods. As a result, his weight is 74 kg while he is only 20 years old.
Modifications in sedentary lifestyles and proper diet could certainly address the problem to a large extent. To be more specific, calorie consumptionconsumption of calorie should be done according to the body'sbody requirements, by calculating the age, height-weight ratio. Diet should be balanced, inclusive of fats, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals in required quantities rather than just oily and spicy. Additionally, exercise is also essentialexercises are also inevitable factors for a healthy body and it should be encouraged among all age groups. One should be motivated to give up sedentary habits and lead a more active life by walking, running, jogging, going to the gym etc.
Therefore, I would like to conclude that inappropriate food habits and non-active lifestyles are the contributors to obesity which can only be dealt with careful meal planning and calorie burning activities.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly identifies several relevant causes and proposes practical changes to diet and activity, with a straightforward structure that keeps the argument easy to follow. Its main limitation is uneven development, especially the weak illustrative example, alongside frequent awkward wording and grammar errors. The highest priority is to explain each cause-solution link more precisely while improving sentence-level accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and measures with relevant ideas, though support is uneven and the personal example does not convincingly demonstrate obesity.
Develop fewer ideas more fully by explaining how each proposed measure directly counters a stated cause and by using a more meaningful example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-part structure and sequencing are clear, but cohesion is sometimes mechanical and some references between ideas are imprecise.
Use more natural transitions and clearer referencing so that examples, consequences, and solutions connect explicitly to the claims they support.
Lexical Resource
There is enough topic vocabulary to discuss diet, exercise, and lifestyle, but recurring awkward collocations and word-choice errors reduce precision.
Replace unnatural phrases such as dumping calories and non-active lifestyles with accurate, idiomatic combinations, and check noun forms and countability.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the main meaning, but agreement, article, plural, and preposition errors recur throughout.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and noun-phrase accuracy, then proofread complex sentences for pronoun reference and missing articles or prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.