In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Nowadays, with the advancement of technology and changes in lifestyles, new and eccentric problems have arisen in societyin the society. Obesity which was a rare sight in the past has become more of a common sight. As most of the developed countries around the world are now facing this issue, the World Health Organization has decided to enlist obesity as a medical condition.
Two reasons could be listed down as the main causes of obesitymain cause for Obesity: firstly, excessivefirstly, the excessive consumption of fatty food, also known as junk food. Living in a society where time is of utmost importance, people tend to eat foods thatwhich are easy and quick to consume. It is this unhealthy diet that consists mostly of fatty food, which is the prime cause of obesity. Secondly, the busy lifestyle which people in current society livethe current society lives in is another reason for this health condition. Travelling in vehiclesPeople travelling in vehicles, using escalators, avoiding tasks that require physical exertion have made people less activeavoiding every task which needs physical exertion has made them lazy and unhealthy.
A healthy diet is the best remedy for obesity. Timely consumption of meals and ensuring that they are full of nutrientsnutrition’s is the key factor in living a healthy lifestyle. Fresh fruits and home-grownhome grown vegetables provide those necessary required nutrientsnutrition’s required. In addition to this, exercise and sports help in burning excessive fat and help reducereducing weight.
In conclusion, there is no doubtit is beyond a doubt that obesity is a rapidly growing health concern nowadays. It is time for us to liveIt is time for us live a healthy life for the sake of future generationsfor the sake of our next generation. A well-planned diet and plenty of exerciseexercises would give birth to a generation that is fit, healthy and above all happy.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is clearly organized and gives a focused account of unhealthy diets and inactive lifestyles, followed by sensible remedies involving better food and exercise. Its main weakness is that the supporting detail remains broad, so the proposed solutions are less convincing than the overall structure. Develop one concrete policy or real-world example, then proofread word forms and sentence completeness to make the argument more precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay clearly identifies causes of rising weight and lower fitness and proposes relevant measures. Some support is general, but the response is complete and focused.
Add one specific example or policy measure, such as school nutrition rules or workplace exercise incentives.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well organized into introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion. Cohesion is clear, though a few transitions are formulaic.
Make topic sentences more explicit about cause and solution relationships.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and mostly appropriate, with some inaccurate word forms and collocations.
Check plural forms and collocations such as nutrients, physical activity, and reduce weight.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a range of structures and generally clear control. Errors with capitalization, apostrophes, and missing words occur but rarely block meaning.
Proofread for sentence completeness and noun forms before submitting.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.