In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
The present generation is adoptingsteering towards an unhealthy lifestyle resulting in obesity. Obesity is increasing at an alarming rateThis is at an alarming rate in some countries and is spreading wider across the globe. Excess weight posesWhile overweight poses a threat to health and fitness of the current generation, and may also pass health risksalso passing the risk to the future generation as well. There are several factors for this issue and this essay will shed light on a couple of them with possible solutions. Firstly, the technological advances aretechnological advancement is to be blamed. The growing number of computer-based jobs hashave restricted employees to minimal physical activityactivities, and the introduction of intra-office messaging has further reduced the need for people to move around. For instance, in most software companies, the practiceculture of messaging to colleagues who are in the adjacent cubicles is increasing. One solution would beThe solutions will be to encourage the employees to have intermittent breaks with simple stretching exercises. Also, they could be encouraged to have more face-to-face communication, thereby, not just increasing physical activityachieving a physical activity, but also workplace integration. Another important factor is the growing consumption of fast foodgrowing fast food consumption. Marketed as quick-to-prepare, these processed foods have several ingredients, which may bewhich possibly remain the major reason for obesity. For example, fast-food chains such asfast food chain like KFC and Mc Donald's are known to serve burgers and fried chickenserve burger and chicken with a greater amount of calories, which may not be required for a single meal. The solution is with the government to educate people about the health hazards so that people learn to avoid processed food. Also, the government could require companiesenforce the companies to manufacture much healthier food thereby contributing to a healthier society. To conclude, both the people and government should work together to address the issue of obesityissue on the obesity. It will not just reduce their weight, but also longer life expectancyan increased life with a greater health and fitness.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both causes and solutions with a clear cause–measure structure and relevant examples from sedentary work and fast-food consumption. The main weaknesses are imprecise causal claims, awkward phrasing, and frequent grammar errors that reduce authority, especially in the introduction and conclusion. Develop each solution's practical mechanism and edit carefully for agreement, articles, countability, and natural academic collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Two relevant causes and matching measures are explained, though several claims are oversimplified.
Explain how workplace policies and food regulation would change behaviour and outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paired cause-solution organisation is clear and progression is easy to follow.
Reduce mechanical signposting and improve sentence-level links.
Lexical Resource
Topic vocabulary is sufficient, but many collocations are unnatural or imprecise.
Use sedentary work, calorie-dense food, require manufacturers, and life expectancy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of forms is attempted, but fragments, agreement, articles, and count nouns are often faulty.
Proofread each subject-verb pair and complete every dependent clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.