In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Remarkably, the proportion of overweight and obese peoplethe proportion of overweight and obese has increased lately all around the world. With a decline in exercise and physical activitya diminution in the exercises and physical rigour, the overall health index of certain countries has reached a new nadirhas been setting new nadir. This essay deals with the causes of these problemsthe causes of it and possible remedial measures to address these problemsrepudiate this fiasco.
Collocating the reasons of people’s overweight and unhealthy lifestyle, technology and the era of digital is most certainly the first one as now the favourite food of people is just a “Click & Buy” away. Not just that, with the upsurge of the digital epoch, the very idea and reflection of making lives easier has indeed made health conditionsthe health conditions unhealthier than ever. A sedentary lifestyle, physical inactivitydormant state, frozen feet and barren body are just some of the deleterious physical effects of this trendphysical effects of it. With a wide rangeplethora of options and alternatives which comecomes along with the new age, people choose the best ones. Now to keep up with the ever-growing demand and neck-jolting strife grows the inculcation of the tastier and hazardous sweet poisons to the food material. The more people focus on its tasteget away with the gustatory aspect of it, the more they harm their bodiesthe worse they do to their physiologies. Not that people have started to munch on more now, but the main disruption to normal bodily functionthe major hiatus in the normal functionality is the imprudent binging, unhealthy hogging and mindlessinconsiderable eating of all the stuff that largely makesthat majorly make the gut a reservoir of utter unprocessed junk, in thea long run. Moreover, the passive lifestyle has only contributed to the deterioration of it, by not at all being able to assimilate the meal and process it any further, which else could have been possible through exercising the muscles.
Coming to the methods and solutions to cope withcope up with the decline in healthdebilitating healthline, cognizing the defilement and impact of such a health regime has to be a foundation to do away with the sedentary lifestyle. Many a time people don’t consider taking a roundabout from the excruciating habits that add to the adversary of health status. Then, keeping distance from the unhealthy food products available outside and focussing on homemade meals should be promulgated. Dining outside and imprudent binging should be halted to a greater extent. Most importantly, including exercises and physical activities are quintessential not just for the morphology of the body but also it keeps up the fluent execution of organs.
Overall, binging processed and unhealthy food and passive routine are the preponderant causes of increasingreceding BMI and physical well being. Exercising and diligent food consumption is the most efficacious solutions to elevate that up.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers both causes and solutions and follows a recognisable problem-solution structure, with relevant attention to processed food, inactivity, home cooking, and exercise. Its main limitation is persistently over-elaborate and inaccurate wording, which often obscures otherwise sensible ideas; the highest priority is to express each causal link and recommendation in direct, idiomatic language before adding further detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both task parts are addressed with relevant causes and measures, although some explanations are vague, exaggerated, or insufficiently practical.
Explain each cause-and-effect chain precisely and make the proposed measures specific about who should act and how.
Coherence and Cohesion
The problem-solution paragraph structure is clear, but progression within paragraphs is weakened by meandering sentences and unclear pronoun references.
Use shorter topic-led sequences in which each sentence clearly develops one cause or one solution from the previous sentence.
Lexical Resource
There is an ambitious and varied vocabulary, but frequent misuse of words and collocations makes several statements unnatural or imprecise.
Prefer accurate common academic terms over ornate choices, checking that every noun, verb, and adjective fits its intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts a range of complex forms, but recurring agreement, article, clause-control, and sentence-structure errors reduce clarity.
Build complex sentences from secure main clauses and then check subject-verb agreement and modifier attachment during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.