In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Currently, the world is experiencing economic development. Indevelopment, in some countries more people are becoming overweight, and their general health is deterioratinghealth level is reducing. This situation leadslead to many health problems such as lung, heart and blood disease. The purpose of this essay is to discuss the causes of this trendreasons of this circumstance and to explain some solutions.
The first reason for this situation is that people'speople‘s income increases. This is because ifThis is because that if people have more money can be used in personal consumption, they will can buy more larger portions of fast foodlarge-size food, fried food and sugary drinksdrink. Consuming these foods in the long termEating this food long term will lead to the intake of a lot of unnecessary calories, resulting inunnecessary energy result in weight gain and lower fitness levels. Another cause is that some people are short of time to engage in sports as they are busy with their work and study. If they can not find sports facilities that are easy to use, it will be more difficult for them to keep exercisingexcising regularly. As a result, they may become less physically active, which can gradually reduce their fitness levels.
A proposed solution is that the government strengthen public awareness of healthy lifestyle habitspublicity on healthy living habit. For example, the government can designgovernment can design some posters to encourage overweight people to run and swim. Sports can help many people become healthier and lose weight. Moreover, another solution is that the government can invest in sports facilities. More sports equipment and space will allow more people to exercise at the same time. This could help busy people exercise without spending time looking for a suitable place.
In conclusion, rising incomes and a lack of exerciseincome increases and lack of sports are significant causes of obesity and declining fitnessreasons for fat and health and fitness are decreasing, and government campaigns and public investmentgovernment strengthen publicity and invest in sports facilities are crucial solutions. I believe these solutions can effectively solve the problem of obesity.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying relevant causes and practical solutions for declining health and fitness. However, the writing is limited by recurring grammatical inaccuracies and occasional awkward vocabulary choices that weaken precision. Prioritizing grammatical control, particularly around complex clause structures and modal verbs, will significantly raise the quality of the response.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and solutions with relevant main ideas and supporting explanations.
Elaborate further on how the proposed government publicity campaigns would directly change daily dietary habits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear, logical paragraph structure with an overall progression from introduction to conclusion.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more naturally between and within sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the topic, allowing the main arguments to be clearly understood.
Focus on using more natural collocations and precise expressions instead of repetitive or informal phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, though frequent grammatical errors occur throughout the text.
Review verb forms, modal combinations, and complex clause structures to reduce grammatical mistakes.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.