In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Currently, the world is experiencing economic development; in some countrieseconomic development, in some countries more people are becoming overweight, and their general health is declininghealth level is reducing. This situation leadslead to many health problems such as lung, heart and cardiovascular diseasesblood disease. The purpose of this essay is to discuss the reasons forof this circumstance and to explain some solutions.
The first reason for this situation is that rising personal incomepeople‘s income increases. This is because that if people have more money can be used in personal consumption, they will can buy more larger portions of foodlarge-size food, fried food and sugary drinksdrink. Consuming these foods over the long termEating this food long term will lead to the intake of a lot of unnecessary energy, resulting inenergy result in weight gain and lower fitness levels. Another cause is that some people are pressed for timeshort of time to engage in sports as they are busy with their work and study. If they can not find sports facilities that are easy to use, it will be more difficult for them to keep exercisingexcising regularly.
A proposed solution is that the government should raise awareness of healthy living habitsstrengthen publicity on healthy living habit. For example, the government can designgovernment can design some posters to encourage overweight people to run and swim. Sports can help many people become healthier and lose weight. In addition,Moreover, another solution is that the government can invest in sports facilities. More sports equipment and space will allow more people to exercise at the same time. This could help busy people exercise without spending time looking for a suitable place.
In conclusion, income increases and lack of sports are significant causes of rising obesity and declining fitnessreasons for fat and health and fitness are decreasing, and government strengthen publicity and invest in sports facilities are crucial solutions. I believe these solutions can effectively solve the problem of obesity.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying clear causes for declining fitness levels and proposing relevant government-led solutions. The main limitation is the frequency of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which occasionally disrupts the flow of ideas. To improve, focus on refining modal verb structures, subject-verb agreement, and word formation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses both the causes and solutions to rising weight and falling fitness levels with relevant main points.
Elaborate further on how higher income connects to poor dietary habits using more precise real-world examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear four-paragraph structure with logical progression between causes and solutions.
Vary cohesive devices beyond basic linking words to improve the natural transition between sentences.
Lexical Resource
An adequate vocabulary range is used to discuss health and fitness, though some word choices and collocations are slightly awkward.
Work on precise collocations and word forms, such as avoiding expressions like 'reasons of this circumstance' or using 'fat' as a noun.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While complex structures are attempted, frequent grammatical errors occur in verb forms, modal combinations, and noun phrases.
Review sentence structures to eliminate errors like double modal verbs and missing verb forms in clause constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.