In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Same questionCompare 23 different answers (Band 5.5–7)

Sample Response

1

Currently, the world is experiencing economic development, in some countries more people are becoming overweightmore people fat and their health level is reducing. This situation leads to many health problemslead to many health problem such as lung, heart and blood disease. The purpose of this essay is to discussdiscusses the reasons forof this circumstance and to explain some solutions.

2

The first reason for this situation is that people'speople income increases. This is because that if people have more money can be used in personal consumption, they will can buy more food as snack and afternoon tea. This behaviour increase amount of caloric intakefood input so it result in overweight and fitness are decreasing. Another cause is that food has become higher in caloriesfood is become more high-energy. Because restaurant want to attract customers so they usually use frying and grillinguse fry and grill to cook food. These behavioursbehaviour lead to food become high-energy. Thus, people eat these food become fat.

3

A proposed solution is that government strengthen publicity on healthy living habitshabit. For example, government can design some posters to encourage overweight people to run and swim. Sports can help many people become more healthy and lose weight. Moreover, anotherother solution is that government can invest sports facilities. More sports equipmentequipments and space will allow more people to exerciseallow more people sports at the same timeat same time. Because some people who very busy do not have enough time to find and wait for sports facilitieswait sports facilities.

4

In conclusion, income increases and high-energy food are significant reasons for fat and health and fitness are decreasing, and government strengthen publicity and invest sports facilities are crucial solutions. I believe these solutionssolution can effectively solve the problem of obesityproblem of fat.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.5

文章全面回答了题目要求,提出了体重增加与健康下降的原因及解决措施,整体框架清晰。然而,文中存在较多语法结构错误和词汇搭配不当,部分连接词的使用显得机械。建议接下来重点加强复杂句型的准确度以及学术词汇搭配的积累。

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

任务回应

6.0
Scoring rule

文章清晰地回应了成因与对策两个主要问题,观点切题但论证深度略显不足。

Next step

在解释原因和对策时,可进一步展开逻辑因果细节,使论据更具说服力。

CC

连贯与衔接

5.0
Scoring rule

文章具备基本的分段结构,但句间衔接词使用较机械,且存在连接词误用情况。

Next step

多使用多样化的代词指代和逻辑连接词,增强段落内部句与句之间的自然衔接。

LR

词汇资源

5.0
Scoring rule

词汇量能覆盖基本表达需求,但频繁出现词性混用和不地道的表达拼凑。

Next step

积累并使用精准的词组搭配(如 invest in sports facilities),注意词性(如 fat 与 obese/overweight)的正确使用。

GRA

语法多样性与准确性

5.0
Scoring rule

使用了复合句结构,但单句和复句中频繁出现语法错误,影响表达流畅度。

Next step

重点纠正时态、主谓一致以及情态动词重叠(如 will can)等基础语法错误。

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IELTS Writing Task 2

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Your response

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