In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Currently, the world is experiencing economic development, in some countries more people are becoming overweight, and their health level is reducing. This situation leadslead to many health problems such as lung, heart and cardiovascular diseasesblood disease. The purpose of this essay is to discuss the reasons forof this circumstance and to explain some solutions.
The first reason for this situation is that rising personal incomepeople‘s income increases. This is because that if people have more money can be used in personal consumption, they will can buy more large-size food, fried food and sugary drinkssugar drink. Consuming these foods in the long termEating this food long term will lead to the intake of a lot of unnecessary energy, leading to weight gain and lower fitness levelsso it results in overweight and fitness are decreasing. Another cause is that many people lack timeAnother solution is that some people are short of time to engage in sportswhich can be used to sports as they are busy with their work and study. If they can not find sports facilities that are easy to use, it will be more difficult for them to exercise regularlythey will more difficult to keep regularly excising.
A proposed solution is that government strengthen awareness campaigns on healthy living habitspublicity on healthy living habit. For example, the government can designgovernment can design some posters to encourage overweight people to run and swim. Sports can help many people become healthier and lose weight. Moreover, another solution is that the government can investgovernment can invest in sports facilities. More sports equipment and space will allow more people to exercise at the same time. This could help busy people exercise without spending time looking for a suitable place.
In conclusion, rising incomes and sedentary lifestylesincome increases and lack of sports are significant reasons for weight gain and deteriorating fitnessfor fat and health and fitness are decreasing, and government-led awareness campaigns and investments in sports facilitiesgovernment strengthen publicity and invest sports facilities are crucial solutions. I believe these solutions can effectively solve the problem of obesity.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response directly addresses both the causes and potential solutions to increasing weight and falling fitness levels. However, frequent grammatical errors and imprecise vocabulary choice frequently distract the reader and obscure complex ideas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and using accurate word combinations to convey your points clearly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The main causes and solutions are relevantly identified and addressed throughout the essay.
Fully extend each main point with more detail and specific examples to deepen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a basic four-paragraph structure, but cohesive devices are occasionally misused or mechanical.
Ensure transitional phrases accurately reflect the purpose of each paragraph, avoiding mislabeled terms like calling a cause a solution.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate to convey basic meaning, but word choices are frequently imprecise or non-standard.
Focus on learning accurate collocations and topic-specific vocabulary related to health and lifestyle.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While simple sentences are sometimes accurate, frequent structural errors and modal verb misuses occur throughout.
Practice controlling modal verbs, conditional structures, and subject-verb agreement in complex sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.