In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Sample Response
Currently, the world is experiencing economic development; in someeconomic development, in some countries more people are becoming overweight, and their fitness levels are declininghealth level is reducing. This situation leadslead to many health problems such as respiratory conditions and cardiovascular diseaselung, heart and blood disease. The purpose of this essay is to discuss the causes of this trendreasons of this circumstance and to explain some solutions.
The first reason for this situation is that people‘s income increases. This is becauseThis is because that if people have more money can be used in personal consumption, they will can buy more food such as snacks and treatsas snack and afternoon tea. This behaviour increases the amount of food consumedincreases amount of food input, so it results in weight gain and reduced fitnessresults in overweight and fitness are decreasing. Secondly, the reason for this situation is that food is becoming higher in caloriesbecome more high-energy. Because restaurantsrestaurant want to attract customers, so they usually use frying and grilling to cook food. These behaviours lead to food becominglead to food has become higher in calories. Thus, people who eat these foods gain weightpeople eat this food become fat.
A proposed solution is that the government promotes healthy living habitsthat government strengthen publicity on healthy living habit. For example, government can design some posters to encourage overweight people to run and swim. Sports can help many people become healthier and lose weight. Moreover, another solution is that government can invest sports facilities. More sports equipment and space will allow more people to exercise at the same time. Because some people who are very busypeople who very busy do not have enough time to find and wait for sports facilities.
In conclusion, income increases and high-energy food are significant reasons for fat and health and fitness are decreasing, and government strengthen publicity and invest sports facilities are crucial solutions. I believe these solutions can effectively solve the problem of obesity.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response successfully addresses both parts of the prompt by presenting relevant causes and practical government-led solutions to obesity and declining fitness. However, the essay's impact is restricted by repetitive structural patterns and frequent grammatical inaccuracies that disrupt sentence flow. To raise the quality of your writing, focus on correcting basic sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of precise vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
You directly address both the causes and potential solutions to the problem with relevant main points.
Elaborate more deeply on each solution by explaining exactly how public campaigns and facilities motivate long-term lifestyle changes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a clear overall four-paragraph layout, but internal cohesion relies on repetitive, template-like transition phrases.
Use a wider variety of natural linking words and avoid redundant word pairings like 'because... so'.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys your main message, but word choices are often basic, repetitive, or phrased unnaturally.
Practice using natural collocations and topic-specific terminology related to health, diet, and public policy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, modal combinations, and clause structures occur throughout the response.
Review fundamental grammatical structures, particularly subject-verb agreement, modal verbs, and complex clause construction.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.